Mixed Messages (A Drarry Fanfic)

I'm Sorry

(Harry)

Harry stood there, shocked, and rooted to the floor. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe... he couldn't believe Draco would say such things. He actually thought he was getting somewhere with Draco. He thought he'd finally convinced Draco to be better. Harry was stunned, and still Draco continued to lash out at him. The blond boy had caught up with Harry on his way to Potions and started screaming at him. And then... he'd said something Harry would never forget. Something that rocked him to his core.

Something that made him want to break Draco's nose.

    "If only I had a time turner to go back in time and finish you off when Voldemort couldn't! The world would be infinitely better. At least then you would stop bitching about losing your poor mummy and daddy!"

To Harry's surprise and humiliation, he felt tears well in his eyes. Even Draco was paling at what he said. He'd finally stopped shouting and was instead looking flustered and a little guilty.
    "Take. That. Back." Harry growled though gritted teeth. A lone tear trickled down his cheek, and he furiously brushed it away.

    "...Harry. I didn't mean to say that... it just slipped out..."
Harry didn't care or notice that Draco had used his first name, he was too overcome with fury.

    "That's the best fucking apology you got?! How DARE you."

Draco closed his eyes, looking distressed.

    "You're right. I can't apologize, it only makes matters worse. I'm terrible at it, and you deserve better," he said earnestly.

...then Draco stepped forward and kissed Harry. Harry stood in shock, unsure of what was happening. The kiss lasted about 2.4 seconds, but it was tender and apologetic.

Harry stumbled back, stunned. They stared at each other in silence. Harry, sweaty and confused, his heart beating way too fast, and Draco... he was flushed all over and refused to meet Harry's eyes.

    "Well," Harry said hesitantly, "I wasn't expecting that."

Draco bristled, face red.
   "And what were you expecting, an insult?"

    "Well yeah!" Harry burst out, "that's all you've ever done to me!"

Draco scowled.
    "I know."
They stood in awkward silence in the hall, thank Merlin class had started, or that would've been a disaster.

    "Why did you do it?" Harry piped up, hesitantly.

Draco shook his head, rolling his eyes.
    "You really are a brainless git, aren't you, Potter?"

Hardy opened his mouth to protest, but Draco cut him off.
    "I- I shouldn't have said that. I... um... I'm sor...sorry. Potter," he choked out, awkwardly.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, and then stared Harry in his eyes.

    "I did that because... I've wanted to for the longest time. I... I've loved you ever since we've met, Potter. And... I know I do love you. I'm not confused," he added, as if daring Harry to contradict him- he couldn't have, even if he wanted to, his brain had suddenly stopped working. He just stared at Draco in bewilderment.

A few moment of silence passed, before Draco croaked out, "say something, Scarhead?"

That familiar insult finally snapped Harry out of it. He let out a bitter laugh. Even when Draco was trying to be...nice?- he still ended up being a rude prick. And he'd always been a rude prick.

    "You... you expect me to believe that?" Harry asked between fits of mocking laughter. Draco squirmed.

    "How could you do that to me?" He demanded, suddenly sober.
    "I have a girlfriend and I am perfectly happy with her. You have made my life living hell for the last 6 years, Malfoy. How could you say something like that, now?"

Draco closed his eyes, and when he opened them, Harry saw that they were sparkling with tears.

    "No, Harry! You don't understand! I have had to spend every day of every week of every month of every year for SIX YEARS watching you hate and despise me. I've seen you fall in love, first with that useless Chang girl, and now with the Weaselette. That's what I've gone  through. I've gone through years of hiding who I am, dreading the day someone would find out. YOU have made MY life living hell... being so close but... knowing I can't have you..."

He stops suddenly, looking heartbroken.
    "I've said too much."

Harry shook his head, feeling confused.
    "You haven't said enough."

    "...Draco," at his first name, Draco lifted his head.
    "I... cant say I like you. But... I'm sorry. I just... it's not the same for me. I'm in love with Ginny. If you truly care for me, then leave us alone. I mean it."

    "But Harry-" Draco cried, more tears welling in his eyes, "that's so... so much harder than you think! I... I-I don't know if I can."

Harry's eyes hardened.

"Then be prepared to lose me forever, Malfoy."