Mixed Messages (A Drarry Fanfic)

The White Rose

(Draco)

Draco's heart felt like it was going a mile a minute. Soon, Harry would know everything. He'd know that... that Draco was letting the death eaters into the castle. Tonight. It made him nauseous. What if Harry hated him? Draco wouldn't blame him. He hated himself. He was such a coward.

Draco took another deep breath, and went about the room of requirement tidying up the place a bit. It usually helped him calm down, but this time, it just gave him anxiety.

It came to him after Harry had dropped him off. There was no way to protect everyone. And...he was selfish and didn't want to die. Not yet. If he went to Dumbledore, Voldemort would know it was him. He'd track Draco down until he found him, and killed him. Instead, Draco was going to keep quiet. He would let the death eaters in, and then try to take out as many as he could. Maybe, if no one saw, Voldemort would overlook him.

It was a terrible idea. But he was out of options.

    "Desperation really does terrible things to a person," Draco thought, wringing his hands and obsessively adjusting his tie. He had never felt more nervous. He couldn't stand up to Voldemort, not yet, but maybe he was being brave in another way.

He was ripped out of his musings when Harry stumbled into the room of requirement, clutching a golden book in one hand, and a white rose in the other.

Draco's heart felt like it it was pounding out of his chest.
Harry stood, and his eyes swept around the place. It was spotless, if Draco did say so himself.

The chandelier glowed with a warm light, throwing shadows about the room, giving it the illusion of sparkling. The rose colored pillows on top of the cream sofa were plump and inviting, and on the dark wooden table lay a tray of biscuits and tea. It was beautiful. Simple, but beautiful.

    "Draco."
Harry's voice came out more of a gasp.
    "You... you did all this?"
Draco couldn't help rolling his eyes.
    "Well the Room of Requirement did most of it. I just polished it up a bit. And stole the biscuits from dinner."

Harry's smile was blinding. Hesitantly, he reached out and enveloped Draco in a hug. They stood there for a moment, simply holding each other and listening to the others heart beat. Then Draco playfully pushed him away.

    "Alright, alright. That's enough. I've got a reputation to maintain," he said, reaching up and adjusting his hair again. Harry cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked.

    "Whatever you say, Malfoy."

Draco smirked back.
   "And who, may I ask, is that rose for?"
Harry growled at him.
    "Oh enough. I thought it would be nice. Since you obviously don't appreciate it-"
    "No, no!" Draco called, taking Harry's hand in his, and gently plucking the rose from between his fingers, "I love it, actually. I'm just making fun of you, Scarhead."

Draco then took notice of the golden book. He set the rose on the table and grinned.
    "Ooh. A diary? The famous Harry Potters diary?" And then grabbed at the book. He pouted when he opened it and realized that it was just a book.

    "Boring. Come on, Potter. Bring me something so I can get the dirt on you and hold it over you forever," he complained, sitting and shutting the book. Harry chuckled and sat next to him.

    "I think you'll want to keep reading, Git."

Draco opened the book again and began to read, in the most monotone voice ever; "written by Professor Moore of the HWAWF, the Helping Witches and Wizards Foundation. Published in 1439...."
Draco's breath hitched, and it took him a moment to finally read out, in a small voice,   
    "Panic Attacks, And How To Help Them."

He closed the book and turned to Harry, who was grinning cheekily.
    "You... Harry. You found me a book on panic attacks?"

    "I thought it would be helpful. I know how scary they must be. This book has some key information about them, why they are caused, and how they are "treated". I even asked Madam Pomfrey if they had any potion or solution to help ease the attacks, but she said they didn't. Out of all the things..."
Harry trailed off as he noticed the tears in Draco's eyes.

    "W-what did I do wrong? Draco? I'm sorry- I didn't mean to- what did I say??"

Draco shook his head, laughing a little.
    "You idiot. Your scar must have given you brain damage. I'm... I'm so happy. Thank you. No one has ever bothered trying to help me. My parents called me weak, and no one else knows about them. So this is..." his voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat twice,    
    "this means so much to me. That you care. Thank you."

Harry reached over and squeezed his hand.   
    "Hey," he said softly, "you are not weak. You are strong for going through this. And you don't have to thank me. I care about you, Draco."

Draco's throat suddenly started burning, and his stomach constricted. He had been waiting his whole life to hear those words, but now they filled him with guilt.

    "They're coming," he suddenly blurted, unable to take it anymore.

Harry furrowed his brow.
   "What?"

Draco finally let a tear slip.
    "The death eaters. Tonight. I can't stop them."

Harry leapt from his seat, staggering back and shaking his head frantically.

    "No. No, no, no, no, no! This.. this can't be happening!"
The panic in his voice slowly turned to rage as he whirled to face Draco.

    "How could you let this happen?!"

    "I-I had no choice!" Draco blubbered back, desperately.
Harry laughed coldly.
    "No choice?" His voice was strained with anger.
    "Then what do you call not going to Dumbledore, when he could've helped you?! What do you call asking for me to-"

His voice broke, and tears started streaming down his face, as he ripped his hands through his hair.

    "Harry... Harry I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Draco cried, trying to reach for the boy.

Harry twisted out of his grip.

    "All of this," he suddenly shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at him, "all of this is your fault! The destruction! The loss of life!"
His voice wavered for a moment, but the hateful glare in his eyes didn't.

    "I thought we'd get through this together! I thought you trusted me enough to rely on me!"

The betrayal, anger, and hurt in Harry's voice brought Draco to his knees. He felt like a thousand icicles were stabbed into his heart.

His vision swam with tears as Harry turned on his heel and ran, shouting, "well I guess I was wrong!!"

Draco sobbed as the only person he'd ever loved ran away from him when he needed him the most.

So Draco sat there, long into the night, holding the rose in is hand.

Slowly crushing it until nothing was left.