𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 | 𝐛. 𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐲 | 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧

MY HOUSE IS DARK AND I CANNOT SLEEP. I stand from my spot in my bed and walk to the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water. I check the time—2:12 am. I pace back and forth, debating my options. A year ago, we won our game against the Giants, Lennon and I confessed our feelings, played ball with the boys, and went to the fair back in San Fernando. A year ago, The Los Angeles Dodgers made it to second place in the NL, but didn't make it to the World Series. We understood the loss and why we didn't make it, and didn't beat ourselves up because of it. We started the season in last place and found our way to second. We were proud, held a huge party as if we had won the World Series ourselves. The trade was called off by Judge and his representatives two weeks after the game against the Giants. I grab my car keys and walk to my car. Forty minute drive from here. I drive to San Fernando in a noiseless vehicle under the guise of night. I drive past Lennon's old house and park in my mother's driveway. I walk to the door and knock, exhaling sharply. The door opens and my mother stands behind the screen door.
      "Benny, what's going on? It's two in the morning." She says.
       I exhale and lick my bottom lip, raising my eyebrows.
       "Do you still have Grandma's ring?" I ask, whispering to keep from waking the neighbors.
       She smiles and nods, pulling her robe around herself.
       "Give me a minute to grab it. Wait right here." She says, disappearing into the back of the house.

* * * * *

      I stand at the door to Lennon's apartment, wrapping my jacket around myself. The door opens and she yawns. She's obviously just woken up. Her hair, however, is neatly pulled back into a ponytail, a few strands of her hair framing her face. She wears one of my oversized tees and a pair of sleep shorts.
      "Benny," She says, smiling. "What are you doing here? It's almost dawn."
      I nod, smiling to her. She practically glows in the dark. The fading moonlight hits her skin and she shines.
      "May I come in? I have something I want to talk to you about." I say.
      She takes my hand and leads my inside, turning the light on. She looks nothing short of perfect. Her eyes have a softness to them and her lips curl into a small smile.
      "I had an idea, Lennon, a crazy, wonderful idea." I say. "And now I can't sleep because of it."
      She raises an eyebrow at me. I take her hands in my own and stare deep into her eyes.
      "Lennon, when I was a little boy, my mother lost my father. And when I asked if she was going to marry another man, she told me no. She explained that for her, there was only one person out there that held her heart. So, she was done with marriage, but she never forgot him. My Grandma told me about how there's someone in the world destined for us, and that we may have to go through heartbreak to find them, but when you find them, you know it's them. And, when I met you, something about you was different. I didn't know what it was, but it was different. If I could go back in time and tell the old me to hold and wait for you, I am torn between telling myself and not. If I had told myself, who knows where we would be, but if I hadn't, this is where we would be. Right here." I say. "Lennon Davis, I love you. And I had a thought. A wonderful thought."
      She raises an eyebrow, looking at her hands in my own, then up at me.
      "And What was that thought, Benny? That wonderful thought?" She asks.
      I smile wrapping my arms around her waist, her hands gently pressed to my arms.
      "A thought that changes You and I to Us. I had a thought of marriage. Not contractually obligated, no prenups, no rules, nothing. Just Us." I say.
      Her bottom lip drops open slightly and her eyes turn glassy.
      "Benny," She says, exhaling sharply. "If you feel obligated to do this, don't. If this is how you are trying to makeup for everything in the past. Don't. I already love you. But, if you're serious about this, I need you to say so."
      I pull her towards me, rocking back and forth on my feet, nodding.
      "Lennon Davis, I want you to be Lennon Rodriguez. I want to marry you." I say.
      I reach into my pocket, retrieving my Grandmother's ring. I open my hand, palm up, and kneel down before her.
      "Lennon Davis, will you Marry me?" I ask, an eyebrow raised.
      She exhales sharply, covering her mouth with her hands. She stares at the oval halo diamond in my hand, then at me.
      "Yes." She says simply, her voice cracking. "Yes, Benny, I will."
      I smile and slip the ring onto her shakily hand. I stand, cupping her face with my hands. I kiss her, smiling at her. She sobs, smiling at me.
      "All I ask in this proposal is that you outlive me." I say, staring into her eyes. "I cannot live another day of my life without you, Lennon. I tried my best to survive without you, but now that I have you, I cannot live without you. Not again."
      She smiles and exhales, nodding to me, taking my hands in her own.
      "I can try," She says quietly, kissing my hand in her own. "I can try my best."