Not Gone. (Ghost Deku AU)

Ch2pter Twenty-4our

This is a half chapter to make up for yesterdays short chapter, it is not necessary to read but will give some background for a certain character. *Contains potentially descriptive language of talking about loss, please take your own priorities over reading if this could make you think of things you don't want to.*

_M-I-D-O-R-I-Y-A_I-N-K-O_

I've always felt him. Even when they said he was gone. I don't know whether it was my denial, or belief that led me to my crazed ideas. But when those kids, when that man came, I knew I was never wrong.

The days after Izuku died were hard, the sudden lack of laughter, the sudden lack of excitement every time a hero was on TV, all of it. I even missed the messes he made, anything that annoyed me, I would give the world to be annoyed by them again. 

I first felt the wind just a week after Izuku "died", but I could never bring myself to use that term. The wind was always kind and embracing, even if it caused a ruckus. I always saw him in the littlest of things, whether it was turning the corner to see a blanket thrown recklessly, something in my heart always prayed he was under it. It was easy for me to see him as such a bright wind. It's playful nature, its loving warmth, it was just like him. 

I wasn't sure whether I was just deluding myself to make up for the thing I was missing. But as time went on, I noticed small things. I never had to dust Izuku's room, it was always perfectly clean. But that wasn't it, the first time I had dinner with Mitsuki and Katsuki, it felt like the presence was sitting there, happily, just like we all were. Katsuki seemed to notice too, eyeing the chair we left empty as the table often. But that may have just been do to Izuku being his close friend who he missed dearly. 

I never questioned it, I was afraid. If I did, what would happen to it? If I reached out, and tried to tell him it was okay, would he disappear? Because, more than loving, I was selfish, never wanting the last resemblance of him to disappear. But then those kids came, and the man came, and they seemed to know too. All I wanted, right in that moment, was to reach out and ask if it was him. I wanted to tell him it was alright if he wanted to go on and live freely. But love is never selfless.

I can now only hope that one day, he comes to me first, to tell me he's okay, to tell me he's happy. Even if I don't see him in the smallest things anymore, I want him to see me as well. Maybe one day we can be together again.

Even if he is quirkless, even if it is impossible, all I want is for my last words to him not to be "Have fun at school", I don't want his last smile with me to be him leaving out the door, or for his last laugh to be when I joked about being too early to school. So I will be selfish, now that I know there is a chance, I will do all that is in my power to make sure he is loved. Although, it doesn't look like I have to do much since those kids all look like great young heroes.

A/n, this was somewhat written off my own experience with loss and I am sorry if you disagree with anything said here. I needed more time in order to make a good next chapter so I hope this will make do. Thanks for reading, love you all, have a great day. -Miss Fall.