Captured by darkness ( Dark series #1 ) UNDER-EDITING

Chapter 34

Surrender

Our greatest enemy is ourselves, fadeless that no one can beat it. It never ends running in our mind. Despite arguing with the world, despite arguing with fellow humans, why waste time spending a plot on how you will vanquish those enemies. Not knowing that we're gradually devouring ourselves.

Our greatest battles will reflected throughout our being. A kind of battle that only you can defeat. A kind of battle where your inner peace was involved. It's all in you. It's inside of you, it is your inner battle.

For those years without him, I thought I'm fine. I can leave the way I used to be. He chose his own path, a path without me, a path where he could be free. so do I!? No... It is not! I chose the path where I fight my inner battles everyday. To fight for my inner peace.

After battling with it, I found myself always whining, complaining, not even trying.

"Malapit na ang bakasyon, where do you plan to stay?"

Aviana asked while doing our homework. Ang bilis ng araw. Magbabakasyon na pala ulit. I sighed and looked at her.

" 'di ko pa sigurado, ikaw?"

I looked at the people passing at the hallway to have their lunch, but the two of us busy finishing our homework, so we could bond sometime together before this month ends.

"Probably, I'll be staying on our house at Ilo-ilo,"

Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi niya, good for her. Alam na niya kung saan ang pupuntahan niya, kasi ako nagdadalawang isip pa kung saan ako pupunta. It's better to unwind sometimes, pero hindi ko talaga alam kung saan pwedeng mag tagal habang bakasyon pa.

I saw Aviana, picked up her phone when it vibrated. When she read the text, Her face now looks troubled. Nagkibit balikat na lang ako. Baka may nakalimutan lang. But she took my pen and put it aside. What's her problem?

"Why? 'di pa ako tapos Av,"

She's now biting her nails, she really looks troubled. Hindi siya mapakali sa upuan niya. Kinuha niya ang cellphone niya at pinabasa sa akin.

"Oh! You're really in trouble Av. You promised, nasaan na ang kakanta sa bar na 'yon this night."

She now looks pale. "You're not helping, pinapakaba mo ako lalo."

Nagkibit balikat ako. "I'm just stating a fact,"

After a while, her face lit up. Pero mukhang nag aalinlangan parin siya sa sasabihin. She's looking at her phone and to me. She touched my arm and pinched it lightly. She looked at me with a begging eyes. Sinasabi ko na nga ba!

"No, I won't do it." Mabilis na pag tanggi ko.

Kinuha ko ang ballpen sa gilid niya at nagsimula ulit magsulat. Ako? Kakanta. Well, I can sing, but not in front of people.

"Please, you can ask me anything after this,"

Napahinto ako sa pagsusulat at napaisip ako sa sinabi niya. Napangisi ako, I think I have an Idea now.

"Anything?" She nodded hopeful.

After she asked me a favor, singing at the Bar. I found myself here in front of everyone. Hindi ko alam kung ano itong pinasok ko. I am here now. I saw everyone staring at me. Some were drinking their shots staring into nothingness. Some were talking with their friends.

In this Bar, there are only two types of people. The one who wants to forget and the one who goes for fun.

Inayos ko ang Mic at tumikhim para kuhanin ang atensyon ng mga tao. I told my little introduction before pressing the piano keys. This is my first time will be singing in front everyone. Sa iisang tao ko lang naman gustong i alay ang kantang ito, wala nang iba pa, sa kanya lang. 

Every touch and press in every piece of the piano, dragging me softly to my own kind of pain. Maybe with this song, I can say what my hearts really feels. Maybe through this song he finally turned to me.

We let the waters rise
We drifted to survive
I needed you to stay
But I let you drift away

I close my eyes, as I sang the first lyrics of the song, remembering those happy days with him. Sa sobrang saya ko nang mga nagdaang araw, hindi ko alam na unti unti na palang lalayo ang pakikisama niya sa akin. Not knowing that In a bliss, he'll slipped away.

My love where are you?
My love where are you?

I should've hated him, I should've loathe him. But I always found myself searching and hoping. hoping that he'll comeback.

I finished the song receiving some applause from the crowd. I search the crowd hoping I'd seen him, but there's no even trace of him. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at tumingin kung nasaan si Aviana. 

She's talking to the manager of this Bar as she kept swaying her hands in the air. Mukhang nagpapaliwanag ang isang ito. Pagtango na lang ang nagagawa ng babaeng manager habang kausap si Aviana, at natapos ang usapan nila sa simpleng pagtapik nito. 

Lumingo sa gawi ko si Aviana at nag thumbs up, naka ngiti siya nang malawak at bumababa at taas ang kilay dahil sa pagsalba ko sa kanya. I chuckled. Ang isang ito talaga. Nakakalimutan niya siguro na may kapalit ito. Well, anyway. Kahit papaano natulungan ko siya. Though, I'm still hoping to see someone that could have listen to my song. 

Bumaba ako sa stage na hindi kataasan at lumapit kay Aviana. Kinuha ko sa kamay niya ang hawak na alak at diretso iyong ininom. Napangiwi ako dahil sa pait. Aviana laughed at my expression as she lead me the way to seat at the corner. 

"Thank you talaga Axia," Nakapalumbaba siya habang naka tingin sa akin na nagpapaawa. 

"No biggie." I muttered still looking at the place. 

"Kanina ka pa tingin ng tingin sa paligid, may hinahanap ka ba?" Aviana's forehead ceased out of curiosity. 

Napabaling ang tingin ko sa kanya. 

"Huh? Oo si--" Tumikhim ako. "M-malcolm," Bumaba ang boses ko sa pagbanggit ko nang pangalan niya. 

Napa-igtad ako nang biglang pinagtama ni Aviana ang dalawang palad niya, dahilan para makagawa iyon ng ingay at mapatingin ang ibang tao sa direksyon namin. 

"Ano ba! Nakakagulat ka ha!" Reklamo ko, na kinatawa lang niya. 

Umiling-iling lang siya. "Sinasabi na nga ba! Ikaw ha, hindi ka pa rin nakakalimot sa lalaking iyon." Her eyebrows wiggle. 

"Look, Av. Do you think I can easily forget him? Mukhang napakalabo," At sumalumbaba na lang sa lamesa, nakatingin sa may pinto. Ibabalik ko na sana ang tingin ko kay Aviana na mukhang sersermunan na ako nang may mahagip ang mga mata ko sa labas ng pinto. 

It was open widely, that's why I could easily someone out there. Napatayo ako nang wala sa oras at akmang lalabas nang hatakin ni Aviana ang kamay ko. 

"Uy, sa'n ka pupunta? Mangiiwan ka na naman eh!" 

Tumingin ako sa pagkakahawak niya at bumaling ulit sa kung nasaan ang nakita ko na si Malcolm. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali, siya iyon! 

"I-I saw Malcolm Av..." Turo ko sa labas na may nanginginig na kamay. 

Napaawang ang labi ni Aviana. "Really? Where?" Tumayo na rin siya na akala mo hindi niya ako sersermunan kanina. 

Hindi ko na siya sinagot at lumabas na rin ng bar. Dali-dali akong sumilip sa kaliwa at kanan ng sumalubong sa akin ang tahimik na daan. Tanging ilaw lang sa labas ang mga nakikita ko, meron ding iilang mga sasakyan at tao na nag-uusap sa labas. Pero ang taong hinahanap ko bigla na lang nawala. 

"I lost him again..." Napapaluha kong sabi. 

KEYMEMOIRS