Pictures don't lie
Repetition, for days that's how my life is. Waking up into a bed with emptiness, doing the same routine every morning, going out of house wearing the same mask, a mask with pain and loneliness.
And the famous passing at the people, being another face in the crowd. People's chattering, babies crying, adults reminiscing. Just simple, that's how my life goes.
Seems like, I am always at the beginning, doesn't know where to start, doesn't know where to put a line. Beginning is always the hard step, you don't know where's the best place to put yourself. But when you started, you already know what you're going to do.
And yup, I already know where I started. I do know now where I should begin, I begin with accepting things between me and him. But as time passes by, the beginning became a repetition
Paulit-ulit na pangyayari, na tipong sa bawat paggising ko hinihiling ko na sana bago naman. Na sana may kakaiba naman, na sana siya naman.
Siya naman ang nandiyan katulad ng dati. Pero wala, lumipas ang araw na paulit-ulit walang siya, walang dumating na Malcolm.
He leaved me in the middle of the darkness, don't know where to take a step on, don't even know where to looked upon.
Darkness completely consumed me, 2 days... And I'll leave this place. No signs of him. Night's end, light's out.
Repeat...
Morning came, another day, passing at the people, being another face in the crowd, people's chattering, babies crying, adults reminiscing. Nakakasawa.
one day and I'll leave this place.
I walked and let my foot wanders, taking me into different places. Taking me into the place, where he used to stay.
Nakita ko ang malaking puno na naroon at mayroong maliit na papag na halatang pinaglumaan na dahil sa tagal ng panahon. May nakita akong bulto ng tao roon na pamilyar sa akin.
I run because of excitement.
"Malco--"
Tumigil ako ng mapansing hindi pala siya iyon, it's one of his friends Sancho. Nawala ang ngiti ko. Akala ko siya na.
"I-ikaw pala, akala ko-- si..." I said disappointed.
He take a deep breath. "He's gone,"
Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. "Yeah! He's gone, he left me without uttering a word."
His lips were in thin line as he gave me his forlorn face. He put his hands on his pocket and lower his head and cursed. What's wrong with him?
"He's gone. Malcolm's gone for real," Diretso niyang tingin sa akin.
Napatanga ako sa binitiwan niyang salita. Tama ba ang narinig ko? Lumapit ako sa kanya at pinakatitigan siya sa mata. Pilit kong hinahanap ang kasinungalingan doon, pero wala akong makita.
"Hindi magandang biro, Sancho!" Sa mahina pero madiin kong boses.
"It's the truth,"
My tears started to flow, pero napangisi din sahil sa naisip. Marahas kong pinunasan ang luha ko gamit ang likod ng palad ko.
"You're lying, you're a liar! Show me some proof!"
His face became impassive, I knew it! He's lying. Pero nawala ang ngisi ko nang may nilabas siya sa loob ng bulsa niya. It's a small photo paper.
"Here, take it."
Nanginginig kong kinuha sa kanya iyon. Nang tuluyan ko ng makuha ito, pikit mata kong hiniling na sana hindi ko na lang hining ang pruweba sa kanya. Mas lalong tumulo ang luha ko pagka kita ko sa litrato.
It's Malcolm, lying in the cold ground with a blood that surrounds him. Tinignan ko ang nasa harapan ko.
"I-it's fake! Hindi siya 'to! Sinungaling!"
He walked near me. "Pictures don't lie,"
Pictures don't lie! Umuwi ako pagkatapos kong makita ang kaibigan ni Malcolm. He's gone! He's fucking gone, iniwan na niya nga ako. I'm fucked up! Padabog kong sinara ang pintuan ng kwarto ko at hinagis lahat ng pwede kong makita.
I tried breaking things, bakit hindi parin nababawasan yung sakit. Bakit masakit parin! I mourned for an hour and decided to pack my things. I've decided. Aalis na 'ko sa lugar na ito! I let myself healed.
When I'm done packing my things up, I took out the small photo paper in my pocket and stared at it blankly as my tears fall.
I get the new DSLR camera that Aviana gave me, or rather I asked as a replacement for singing at the Bar. With my trembling hands, I open it and focus it on the photo.. My tears keeps flowing as I took a picture of it with different angle.
Nilamukos ko ang litrato dahil sa sakit at napag desisyunan na iwan na lang ito dito. I'll leave this place as well as my memories of you.
KEYMEMOIRS
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Captured by darkness ( Dark series #1 ) UNDER-EDITING
Fiksi UmumAlexia Ezra Gomez living secretly capturing spectacular things in this world. The happiness on everyone's eyes, their smiles, tears of joy with a mixture of love, these memories is her sanctuary. She doesn't focus on what she discern. Beyond her m...
