Answer To My Life

t w e n t y - t w o

In class, I make a bold decision.

I ask to go to the bathroom, and the teacher surprisingly says yes despite us being in the middle of some important lesson. I gather my items and rush back to the janitor's closet.

Marina is sitting against the door, smug as always with a condescending smirk on her face.

"You forgot something," she says mockingly while holding out my phone.

When I lean in to grab it, she immediately pulls it away.

I roll my eyes and demand, "give it."

"Idalia, we have to talk. It's been months and—"

"Exactly. It's been months, so what's the point anymore? Now give me my damn phone," I tell her.

She's taken aback by my response and says, "I know that I wasn't nice when we talked about Sea. We can move past it though."

"Unless you plan to apologize and admit that what you did was messed up, then I never want to speak to you again."

In my head though, I'm aching to just have a normal conversation with her. To forget everything that's happened and continue our relationship like nothing happen. Except, we're far past that point of acting normal.

"Idalia, I—"

"No," I tell her.

She just looks at me directly, so I take that moment to my advantage and I grab my phone out of her hands.

She doesn't try to take it again, and she's strangely calm as she says, "see you later."

"Um, never," I tell her as a correction.

She's already on her way though, practically skipping at her newfound sense of joy. Her blonde hair bounces around and her flats make loud noises against the hard tile floor. I'm left with my phone in my hold, wondering if she cursed it or something.

I head back to class and my teacher gives me a death stare since I've been gone for more than the maximum four minute rule for going to the bathroom. Soon enough, the bell rings.

The rest of the day goes by normally. When I'm back on, I start to think more about what Marina's strangely happy mood meant.

It had felt nice to get out part of what I've been feeling for months. It wasn't great that she had been unaffected by it though. She's doing just fine. Why isn't she as upset about what happened as I am?

Part of it is probably because it's her fault. The other part may be because it's me. I might have a habit of overreacting. Might.

I settle into my room, and just as I'm about to eat dinner, I hear the familiar bell of my phone.

I turn it on, and it's a text message from a new number.

Marina | 7:16 pm
It's me, Marina. I got your # earlier today. Meet me on Sunday @ 7 pm at my backyard? I have some explaining to do.

Sunday is in two days.

I don't respond to the text.

I pace around in my room, and try to think of what I should do.

At least, that explains her joyful mood. She had stolen my phone number just for that. She's good at being secretive and stealing numbers, and well, my heart.

I immediately roll my eyes at myself for being so dramatic, and I try to come up with a solution. Something. Anything.

Of course, my mom yells that I better hurry up and eat dinner, or else all of the food will get cold. I take it as a warning sign, and I walk down to the dining room where my siblings are.

My brothers start ranting about their school day and how they both nearly got into a fight with another kid.

Why? Because my two brothers believe that dinosaurs still exist and aren't all gone, so they almost fought with someone who said that all of the dinosaurs are extinct.

If only my problems were as simple as that.

After dinner, which is full of my brother's remarks about non-extinct animals, I lay down on my bed. I close my eyes and try to find the answer to all of my problems as if I'm some kind of meditation expert.

After what feels like forever, I don't feel any different. I look at the text again and think about blocking the number. Knowing Marina though, she'll try to pull another stunt like the one earlier today and she'll get my number anyways. She always has a way when she's determined.

I feel as if I should ask Elliot about it, but I think that this is something I should try to figure out on my own. He almost verbally attacked Marina after he heard how she acted that day of our break up, so he won't be too happy to hear about the message.

I run over all possible outcomes that could come true if I meet with Marina. After a while, I sort them all into three categories.

1. My heart gets broken again.

2. We kiss and make up.

3. We move on.

None of the options fit exactly what I want to happen. Though, to be honest, I'm clueless as to what exactly I want to happen.

At least now I'm worrying about the future and what could happen with Marina, rather than what had occurred in the past. I take a deep breath and try to think of what else I can do, rather than just doing what she says and meeting her.

Soon enough, it's midnight and everyone in my house is asleep. Not me though. I'm still awake and still dwelling on what I should do.

I sit up.

The moment hits me as hard as Marina's venomous words had attacked me that day in the football field.

Just meet with her Sunday. See what happens.

So, I have a plan now.