Omnia Vincit Amor

XXIV.

"Amor caecus est." -Unknown

Love is blind.

"Eddy, I feel as though I am getting a bit too chubby. Am I?" Brett asked, pinching his sides a bit.

Eddy saw it, Brett did get a bit chubbier. Not too much but it is visible, also not like he cares. Eddy wanted it because he was softer and cuter because of it. It completely suited Brett. .

"Darling, who cares? So, what if you are getting chubbier. I love you nevertheless." Eddy said, leaning down to kiss Brett properly on the lips.

"Well, I care. What if I am not strong enough to carry you when we are making love? That would be tragic, would it not?" Brett asked, resting his cheek against Eddy's shoulder.

"Even if you cannot carry me while we are making love, I do not mind. As long as you get to love me, I do not need anything." Eddy reassured, fingers running down Brett's neck. "Besides, you need not to make love to me in order for me to feel the way you truly cherish me..." Eddy added.

"I know, my beloved. I know... I love you. I know it does not sound much but no other words are as powerful and meaningful as those." Brett said, not moving away from Eddy.

"Well, how about we create something stronger than that?" Eddy suggested.

A moment of silence passed, both still in deep thought about what to say. Until Eddy spoke up with a bright voice and an even brighter smile.

"I live for you, my lover." Eddy spoke and you could see a fire of passion in his eyes.

"I live for you, too, my darling." Brett returned, feeling the heat of the passion from Eddy. Equally returning the heat that simply cannot be replaced by another.

"I like it." Eddy said, smiling at Brett.

"I like it too, very much." Brett calmly explained but Eddy knows how much of a romantic Brett was. He loved it all throughout his core and his soul.

"As much as I would love to stay with you forever, I still have responsibilities at home." Eddy said, voice sadder than before he appeared here.

"I know you do. Need not to worry, we will see each other again..." Brett said, slowly letting go of their embrace.

"I cannot wait until I do so. Someday, I swear to live with you in one house wherein we are far from this society that judges us. You just have to wait for me." Eddy said, kissing Brett's forehead.

"I will wait for you even if it takes forever. I just want to be free with you." Brett muttered, eyes never leaving his partner. "But for now, we have to go back to our families." Brett added.

"I will see you tomorrow."

"And so will I. Goodbye, my darling."

With that Eddy was on his way to go back to his house. It was quite dangerous what they were doing since they were in the conservatory, but they just needed to be cautious. Brett stayed behind because he still has papers to grade.

At least it was not as unbearable as before, not with the thought of his lover in his mind. Brett had this divide in his mind and heart. He was quite good at focusing on tasks in hand without ever allowing Eddy to be a distraction.

Eddy was far from a distraction, no. Eddy was the one that allowed him to push through even if it seemed that he could not anymore. Eddy was the one that allowed Brett to stay on his foot and settle him down without ever tying him down.

Brett was not one to be distracted, he had his focus on the right things in the right time. His heart was only for Eddy, though. He knows that all too well.

Like how he could map out the veins in the back of his hands, like how he knows their furniture by heart, like how he knows Mendelssohn both by muscle and mind memory; Brett Yang was so in love with Edward Chen.

He was unstoppable like that... Love had made him blind, made him sacrifice, made him smarter yet dumber at the same time. Yet, Brett does not care what he is, he just wanted to be with Eddy until he is not able to breathe anymore.

So, he walks down the street back to his house. He was not quite sure if it was still his home since he had found it in another man's arms. He walked down as if he was to conquer the world and it felt right.

The remaining sunlight from the afternoon is warming his skin up, but it will eventually be cold. The horizon was clearer than ever, painted a blue that is soon to be a blushing pink. Brett takes in the time and reflects, breathing in the air fresher than his mama's rose oil.

When he exhaled, it was like his prayer to the world. Prayer to the deities or the gods out there or a prayer to the universe, it does not matter. It was his way of thanking whatever gravitational force that pulled him in Eddy Chen's core. He held his chest and took another inhale, now continuing his walk.

If loving Edward Chen was like this, then he could live on forever. If loving Eddy was like this, he could survive anything. Brett need not to pass his legacy onto someone else, his love for Edward could do that.

Oh, Edward Chen, what have you done?

Brett thought as he exhaled. The cold overtaking the sunshine, as he gets shielded by the sanctuary he had held dearly to his heart. Suddenly, it is not so cold anymore.

He goes straight to his room, smiling at the memories of him and his lover. Skin and skin in contact, holding each other close and nothing beats the memory of all that. Brett is in love, blindly and hopelessly in love.

October 16, 1861

There were a lot of chances that I did not take and I deeply regret them. I wanted to be nothing but a part of him.

It is a matter of priority. I need not to be a leader, a president, a world-class violinist, a well-known classical musician, a great lawyer; all these occupations are not satisfactory for me. Not when I am not without him. I would rather be where I am now.

I could easily be all these things if I had worked hard. I did, I believe I did. Yet, it is not as fulfilling than to be in his arms and warmth. Need not to worry, though. I am still living my dream occupations with him. I got to experience the jobs that I never thought I would have the opportunity to.

With him by my side, I had become everything.

I stay quiet as I watch him from across the room. His voice lingers in the air like the last few notes of Paganini's first violin concerto and his laugh is as poignant. It is quite a marvelous sight and I wish that I get to enjoy this until the day comes that I am not able anymore.

He was quite the beauty, if I do say so myself.

He made everything, from the biggest to the smallest details, easy and and effortless. Falling in love with him is easy. I could describe it as the fluidity of water. How it streams down, takes the shape of the container you put it in and it flows freely. My love for him was flexible and ever-adapting.

As I have said before, he had never made it hard for me. I am quite in love with him. I cannot deny it anymore.

My state of mind is fixated on his every move. He was my rest and my Sunday morning tea. When I am not missing him, I am with him. The moment that I wake up and the last thought before sleeping, it is always him. I have grown accustomed to him and only him.

The music he played is a memory of our love. I need him and only him. I cannot bring myself to be with someone else. I love him, I cannot emphasize this enough. I live for him, it is a well-known fact. Just him.

I do not need his body for my pleasures. I need not anything physical from him. I only want to love him and be loved in return. I love him. I just want him as my partner, the one that completes me, the only one I could ever love. Do not take him away from me.

I will never be healed if he left, I might as well be dead if he ever decide to do so. I may be complete but I know that there is a space leaving in my chest that cannot be filled but with him.