the moon [h.s.] - EDITING

fifty-one.

LUNA

She's walking on the Brooklyn Bridge alongside her brother. She's picking at the shaved ice in her cup with her straw. She already sipped up all the syrup. Ice is all that's left.

"When are you going to tell him?" Santi asks. He's chewing on ice.

The bridge isn't as crowded as she thought it would be and Luna thinks it's because everyone is out shopping. It's her first time on the bridge. She looks over at the cars on the lower layer of the bridge that heads towards Dumbo, Brooklyn. She then looks out at the water. It's such a pretty sight. "I don't know," she mumbles. "I'm tired."

"It looks like we're almost to the middle of the bridge, but do you want to take a break?"

"No, no... Let's keep walking." Luna feels her knees begin to ache. They've been walking for only half a mile or so, but her legs aren't meant for long walks.

"I think you should tell him soon," Santi brings it up again. He looks at his sister.

She sighs. "I kinda have to, thanks to you..."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, I know... I forgive you," she says. "I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it. I have. So many times. There were moments where I had the chance to tell him everything, but I just used sex to avoid it."

"Woah! Luna, no!" Santi stops in his tracks. He frowns at the revelations about his sister's sex life.

"Sorry! But it's true," she says and lets out a small laugh. She's still walking, leaving her brother behind but he eventually catches up. "It's like every time I think I'm going to tell him, I just don't."

Santi sighs. "Have you decided if you're coming back home?"

Luna shakes her head. Her brother goes back home on Sunday in time for him to go back to school on Monday. She only wishes he could stay longer. "I don't see the point."

"What do you mean? You could see Dr. Minh again. She could help you as she has before," Santi says.

"There's a big problem, Santi." She looks at him. "I'm twenty-four. I'm no longer under mom's health insurance. I'm uninsured at the moment and so I can't afford to go to the doctor."

"You do know there are resources and agencies that will help you get access to healthcare, especially with your situation, right? Luna, even I know that." Santi stops walking when they finally reach the middle of the bridge. He stands by the railing and tilts his head back to take in the rest of the shaved ice that was left in his cup. He chews. "So what's really making you think stupid?"

She leans against the railing and grows annoyance towards her brother, only because he's right. He's putting her on the spot and maybe he should be. These are things she's been avoiding to think about. It's so annoying. "I don't know! Santi, I just know I don't want to go back to that life. I felt like a prisoner in my own home."

"Mom just wanted you safe, Luna. Maybe things will be different if you go back home!"

She doesn't think so. Luna sighs then lowers herself to sit down. She needs it. She sits on the Brooklyn Bridge and leans her back against the railing. Her brother sits down with her. Just as she's about to say something, her phone is ringing in her pocket again. She takes it out and sees Harry's name.

Santi catches his name on her screen as well then says, "But you don't really want to go home because of him, huh?"

She sends him to voicemail again. She's not ready. "It wouldn't be fair to him," she whispers as she puts her phone away. "Whatever I do... Whatever I decide. It won't be fair to him at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna tell you something... Don't tell mom, okay?"

"Luna... What is it?"

"I had a boyfriend back home. I kept it from you guys because... Well, you know Mom. Anyway, when I was getting sicker, he didn't get it. He's all for going out. So, he'd get mad at me for telling him I was too tired to sneak out. He called me lazy once because I slept all day and couldn't answer his calls. When my fingers swelled up, he said my hands looked gross. Gross. He was an asshole, but he didn't get it. He thought I was overreacting because I didn't look sick," she tells him and sighs. "It wouldn't be fair to Harry if he had to see me at my lowest. I won't be the same person if I get sick again, so it won't be fair for him to get stuck with baggage. And, if I leave, it just won't be fair." She's conflicted.

Santi is quiet. He's looking at his empty cup in his hands. "Todd, right?"

Luna looks at him right away. "You knew?"

"We live in a small ass town, Luna... People talk. His sister is in my grade and she talks a lot. And, I kept a lookout every time I heard you sneak out. Mom had no clue."

She's surprised. She smiles lightly and reaches over to hold his hand. She feels like she's about to cry, but she holds it back.

"And, about Harry... yeah, it's not fair. You having a disease that attacks your own body is not fair. Dad dying because he had a weak heart is not fair. Life is not fucking fair, but guess what? You live with it. You get by. Todd was an asshole, to begin with. His little brain would have never gotten it, Luna. But, Harry? I hate to admit it, but he seems like a great guy. He would help you. He would be by your side and help you manage. I believe that."

She's crying. She couldn't hold back the tears she tried her best to hold back. She breathes in, wipes at her tears quickly, then breathes out. "When did you grow up?" She lets out. She laughs a little through her emotions.

"Me? I'm the man of the house. I grew up a long time ago," he tells her with a smile. He lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around his sister's shoulder. He pulls her into a hug and kisses the top of her head. "So see a doctor, yeah? I know, I know... When you go through your treatments, you are a different person, too. But I still love you when you're moody and mean. Harry will, too."

She nudges him and smiles lightly in the arms of her brother. "I'll talk to him, tonight. Are you fine spending time with Zavier?"

"Your almost thirty-year-old roommate? Yeah, why not? He's cool. Maybe he'll offer me a beer."

Luna pulls away from her brother to scoff and shake her head at him. "No!" She then smiles again. "C'mon... Let's keep walking. I want to see Dumbo and stone skip, skim, or whatever."

"You sure?" Santi is asking as he's getting up. He helps Luna up.

"Yes, I'm sure!" She gets up with his help. She holds onto her melted ice-filled cup and locks her arm in with her brother's.