the moon [h.s.] - EDITING

thirty-nine.

'From: justafan96@ymail.com
To: askH@alamode.com
Subject: Am I a bad person?

Dear H,

Here's the thing. There is something about me that I haven't told the person I care about. It's big and I consider it as baggage. It can hurt him, I think. Sometimes I just want to spare him the possible hurt and run away as far as I can, but I can't. I want to be around him every day and that may be selfish of me. Am I a bad person? I've never been one to open up. I don't know what to do.

A fan,
L.'

Harry has read his first email and he doesn't know how to respond. He's worried he'll give the wrong advice all of a sudden but he's going to give it a shot. He rereads the email sent from his fan and then once again. Then, he's typing. He's typing the first thing that comes to his mind.

'L,

There are moments in our lives when we ask ourselves the same question: Am I a bad person? Don't forget, we're only human. We never really know if or when we are making a mistake until it's too late. I could sit here and write 'if you love someone—or, really care about this person—set them free,' but I don't think I can. That's full of crap. If there's one thing I've learned in life it's you shouldn't live it with an ounce of regret. Don't end up regretting all the chances where you could've opened up to this person, L. Trust me. Take it from the twenty-something-year-old guy who almost closed himself off from a heartbreak. Tell this person your 'baggage' if you truly want to be around him every day. Maybe he'll still want to be around you every day despite what you consider baggage. We all have it—at least, some type of it. Big or small, life-changing or not, it should be talked about or you'll be stuck wondering about the what-ifs. So, no. I don't think you're a bad person at all.

All the love,
H.'

Harry gets to hand advice out to over fifteen more readers and fans by the time the sun was setting outside his office building. He really took the time to give the best advice he could to each and every person he chose to respond to. Some of them had it bad. He couldn't believe a reader named Chantel had been going through what Harry has gone through. He had so much to say about having a cheating fiancée but he kept it short. He's never mentioned his broken engagement in any of his published pieces. He only mentioned to Chantel that he knew exactly what she was going through. Of course, he also told her she deserved better. There's so much more out there and he's now a believer of that.

He's cleaning up his desk after posting his responses onto À La Mode's website. He didn't bother to let Beth know he was done. He figured she would see what he posted herself. He gets up and tosses his two empty coffee cups into the trash bin. He says goodbye to a few of his colleagues on his way to the lift. He then takes his phone out of his pocket. He realizes he hasn't checked it all day.

But he doesn't have any new text messages or missed phone calls. He swipes up on his screen to unlock his phone then touches the message icon on one corner of his screen. Luna hasn't texted him back and he decides to text her again.

'To Luna

Hey, I'm off work. Do you want to grab a bite?'

He walks out of the lift when it reaches the floor level. He holds onto his phone as he exits the building. He holds the door open for a few people behind him then smiles at the person who finally holds it and thanks him for it. He steps to the side when he finally gets a text back.

'From Luna

Hi! I'm so sorry. I was busy all day and now I'm tired. See you tomorrow?'

'To Luna

It's okay. See you tomorrow. Have a goodnight x.'

Harry tucks his phone away after texting her. He was looking forward to seeing her, but he understands that she's tired from her long day. He hopes to hear about it the next day. Before heading home, he stops by to grab food for Levi and himself.

»»

"To be honest, if she puts out an apology I don't think she will really mean it," Harry tells Levi about Beth and her latest scandal. He sits on the couch with his flatmate eating out of a Chinese takeout box.

"She sucks... like this show! All the women look the same. Where's the flavor?" Levi says while looking at the TV. He didn't know what else to watch so he asked Harry if they could watch the show where over twenty women fight for the heart of one man, The Bachelor. It's one of Jade's favorite shows that Levi's heard all about.

Harry laughs and looks at the TV. "I know right? So, is this man supposed to give roses to the one he likes the best?" He twists his chopsticks around his chow mein and eats it.

Levi hums after chewing through his food. "This guy is first supposed to hand out a rose to the woman who I guess impressed him the most. Then, at the end of the night, he hands out roses to the women he sees potential with. A few go home each week and he proposes to the winner."

"So it's like a competition?"

"Mm, yeah. Wait, Jade says it's not. She says it's about love and something about how some people are in it for the wrong reasons. I don't want to be the one to tell her that they are all probably looking for fame, not love."

He chuckles and shakes his head. He then looks over at Levi and smiles. "You really like her, huh?" Harry asks, only because he knows Levi would have never watched or learned so much about this show if it wasn't for her. Especially since he's all about football.

Levi grins. "Yeah, I think I'm in love with her."

"Levi," Harry says and he's smiling wider.

"Stop! I haven't told her yet," he tells him and looks back at him.

"Are you going to? When?"

"I don't know yet. Soon... Enough about me! What about you? Luna? How's it going?"

"She's my girlfriend," he tells him proudly. He smiles and goes back to twisting his chopsticks.

"Seriously? Ah, I'm so happy for you, man! So we're over Kristen now, right?"

Harry looks over at Levi. He presses his lips together then nods. "I'm over her... It's done. I saw her this morning, actually. She came over to get Madison's things. Zavier and her broke up."

"Yeah? Tell me more." Levi was no longer interested in the reality TV show.

"Well, I don't know. It was weird. She told me to give her a call if I see anything more of Madison's things. It was in front of Luna. I mean, why would I do that? After that, Luna seemed uncomfortable," Harry explains. He decides he's full and leans over to set his box of food on the coffee table.

"Wow... What did you do to comfort Luna? I bet it was hard to see her new man talk to his ex-fiancée," Levi says and chuckles.

"What do you mean?" Harry bites his lip.

Levi stops what he's doing. He sets his box onto the coffee table as well. "Wait, you did comfort her right?"

"No," he says honestly. "Well, I was, but then she said she had to go to work. Then I asked if we could hang out, but she said she was tired so we called it a night. I thought it was okay. You think it bothered her?"

His flatmate nods. "Sounds like Kristen was trying to make her jealous. Of course, it bothered her! Did you say something to Kristen? Like, 'Um, I'm not going to call you, love.'" Levi tries to mock his slow-paced English accent.

Harry only sighs. "I mean, I thought about it. I told myself I wouldn't call her. I figured Luna knew that."

Levi reaches out to pat his shoulder. "It's okay, I know you haven't done the girlfriend thing in a while. You're rusty, but I'm here for you."

He laughs softly at Levi because he's right. He's almost forgotten what it's like at the start of a brand new and fresh relationship. He only hopes it goes well from there. He really, really, likes Luna.