mfs be paying $30 ON TOP of a subscription fee just to watch the shitty, live action Mulan movie. Mulan better jump out the screen and fuck me for $30.
F.F.: In the early 90s, Pepsi owned 17 submarines, a cruiser, a frigate, and a destroyer, all because of a deal with the Soviet Union in which they exchanged soda for military equipment.
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It all came to an end.
What you thought would be your new normal for the rest of your life finally ended. The war was over and you get to go home. This was a moment of celebration, and you and the boys had to go drink the pubs dry.
"Hey Sammy!"
Sam: "Well if it isn't goddamn Y/N and his squad of fucking assholes. I never doubted ya for a second, kid."
You hugged the old man that ran the Lion's Den Pub, an old friend of yours ever since you came to his place all the time to get a drink or two. You did so with many other pubs, so technically all of the owners were your friends, and you were perfectly fine with that.
Y/N: "We're here to drink you dry. Give us the strongest shit you got. We'll be running around the city all night."
Sam: "Sounds good. Now, who wants to try... the Devil's Fang."
One of your friends, the short one of the group, quickly walked up to the counter and drank the tiny glass filled with the strongest alcoholic drink Sam had. The little one laughs like a maniac, showing you and the rest of the gang how strong he truly was.
Three seconds later he passed out.
Y/N: "This night might be shorter than we thought. Give us something not as strong, please."
Sam: "Hahah! That bastard isn't waking up anytime soon."
You looked at the rest of your friends.
Y/N: "I'm not carrying him."
Several Hours Of Drinking Later
You had already lost count of how many places you and your friends had gone, or even where you were right now. Everything was such a haze, so you grabbed what you thought was your drink and consumed it entirely. It definitely tasted different, and when some big guy walked up to you, it was pretty clear that you made a mistake.
"That was my drink."
Y/N: "Really? Well shit. It probably had your spit in it or something cause it was fecking terrible."
Completely angry, the big guy swung at you and managed to get you right on the face with his big fist which made you fall on the hard, wooden floor. The place went quiet as you and your friends looked at the big guy and his brother.
Y/N: "Listen, if it helps ya, we're wasted so I couldn't even know if it was mine or not."
While you talked to the two big guys, one of your friends grabbed a wooden chair and hit one of them from behind, seeing the chair break from the impact. Your other friend kicked him right on his bald head and knocked him out, now there was only one big guy to worry about.
Y/N: "Wanna fight?"
The big guy picked the two friends and threw them across the bar, interrupting a pool game and seeing how they clashed with other people. Everyone started getting beaten or beating someone up, it was a mess.
Y/N: "I should've just gone home..."
You stand up and get tackled back down by the big guy. You grabbed a bottle and smashed it on his head, then repeatedly beat his head until he wasn't moving.
YOU ARE READING
The Legendary Book Of Oneshots (Complete)
FanfictionPRESENT DAY STATEMENT: This book was written when I was incredibly young, inexperienced, and stupid, and the writing reflects this heavily. A lot of the stories presented here might make you cringe. You've been warned. *** In this book, you'll find...
