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twenty&eight - sheepish

"and what does his say?"

"tired."

"what about her?"

"interested."

"and what about hers?"

"richie," i sighed, "i'm not just going to fucking do this all day." i looked over at him with a bored expression, taking another spoonful of soup. the restaurant was packed for the first time in a while. everyone was out with their friends or family watching the news pour out about the infamous jeffrey dahmer case, and richie and i were no exception. it was interesting, but so morbid. nothing happens in a small town in the middle of derry, so any kind of national news like that became the town talk, like presidential elections.

everyone was talking loudly in the restaurant until a loud shush could be heard. everyone stared at the television intently. the judge was on the screen, looking through his glasses on the jury's verdict on dahmer's mental health. "did the defendant, jeffrey l. dahmer, have a mental disease?" he read off the paper, "answer: no." you could hear a penny drop in the room; not one person took their eyes off the television. a couple people in the court room cried out in relief.

"justice is fucking served!" a teen exclaimed from the bar. he dropped his fork loudly on his almost empty plate. everyone cheered after he said the first word. claps erupted around the area like it was a town hall meeting.

"this town man," richie shook his head with a smile, "you'd think they'd all be maniacs being so infatuated by a murder case over one thousand miles away." i laughed a little bit, stabbing my fork into his macaroni and cheese and taking a bite.

"it's something interesting," i shrugged. leaning my head onto the freezing cold window beside the booth. cars started to leave the restaurant parking lot after the verdict fairly quickly. i looked back to see that the dining area to see the group inside has been cut down to one third of the original group. the news station had changed to its usual nightly reporter, repeating the news about dahmer.

"can you see the adjectives of people on television?" richie asked suddenly, taking his eyes off the screen. i shook my head no. i only saw adjectives of people in person, and i'm happy for that. it would be rather annoying to watch an emotional movie but the adjectives were different than the emotion portrayed. although, it wouldn't be different than real life people; it's sad how much people pretend.

"do you know why?"

"richie," i said impatiently, "i know that it's something that you've never seen before, but i'm not your test subject."

"but don't you want to know why?" richie suggested, "maybe there's other people like you!" he stuck his arm out and grabbed onto my hand for a moment. he squeezed my fingers tightly, giving me a reassuring look. i felt my shoulders drop as i took a deep breath out. the hot air hit the cold window, causing condensation to form on the glass.

"listen," i started, looking out the window. the sky was cloudy, and all of the snow looked grey or brown from all of the cars. i took a breath in, "i'm fine with living as normal as possible. i would get rid of it if i could. it's scary knowing something so many people try to hide."

richie nodded and looked towards the television again. the dusty screen projected the news woman telling the feel-good story of a little girl collecting money for charity with a hot chocolate bar in her school. "i just hope that you're happy," richie whispered, "i'm sorry if i got ahead of myself."

"it's fine, richie," i reassured, "i was expecting worse than someone excited over this." it was true. i expected him to yell at me and sputter out violent insults. i expected to run out of the house with tears running down my face. instead, richie was genuinely interested and accepting of something so strange. i felt a smile grow on my lips as i looked eyes with richie.

—

"hello, boys," maggie entered the living room, her steps like confident strides. she stretched her arms out with a yawn. it was obvious that she had just woken up from a nap; her eyes were still tired, and she wore a green night gown. richie and i both said our greeting from the couch, focusing on the puzzle in front of us. she walked over to the kitchen area and began to take out ingredients to make a sandwich. "i hope you both had a good valentine's day yesterday."

"i mean," i laughed timidly, "it was okay."

"it's overrated," richie said, "people are assholes all year until one day?"

"language!" maggie hollered. she looked over at me with a small, impatient smile. "don't mind him," she explained, shaking her head, "he doesn't have the whole romance thing down. such a shame." she laughed at the last part. i chuckled lightly and looked over at richie, who was blushing mildly.

sheepish

"aw," i smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder and whispering, "somebody is flustered."

"screw you," richie laughed. he put his head on top of mine. when i looked over at maggie, she had a subtle smile across her face. her hands were mindlessly spreading mayonnaise along the rye bread with a knife in hand. i found it admirable how richie's mother had such a sweet grace to her. she was like morticia adamms if morticia was a seventies feminist. her hair was pinned back neatly, two strands of hair falling loose in the front. she made me jealous of richie in so many odd ways.

when i look at my mother, i try to imagine the pictures of her when she was younger. she was thin with healthy hair and fashionable outfits for her time. she was like greta from what i have gathered: a real bubblegum popper. she was mean, judgmental with friends that never stuck around. then, when she graduated and settled down, it was just her and my dad. after she had me and then my dad died, i was her only focus.

richie's mom was student council president who just so happened to date the salutatorian of the high school. she was smart, pretty, and a feminist in heels. then, she had richie after getting married in a nice catholic church. she had richie, and every night she waited and prayed for a girl, and then she thought it finally happened. she got pregnant again, but her happiness soon fell short. richie was five when she miscarried, but she dried her tears and tried her best to be the best mother for richie, despite the fact that she never understood him the way she could understand a girl.

that's why she loved beverly so much.

i envied the happy family, but i knew the more i was there with wentworth and maggie, the more i was treated like the other son (or son-in-law, rather).

"hey, eddie," maggie took a bite of her finished sandwich, "what are you thinking about over there?"

i smiled, closing me eyes and allowing myself to doze off, "i just feel like i'm home."

hello! i'm trying lol. anyways, i wanted to add a little something from history. jeffrey dahmer was actually declared sane and guilty that day (feb 15, 1992). it's a good time marker, similar to the beauty and the beast chapter :).