Letters From The Sky (JoongNine AU)

Chapter 38

The Sky, The Divine Room

Joong

I entered a room that was larger than how it seemed from the outside. There's no wall, no end, liked you were in an infinite space. There're clouds everywhere, moving, quiet. I stood and waited for the one they said calling for me to be here. Where is this, actually?

I hear voices, two voices, and one of them was so familiar, a voice that I'd missed all these years. I tried to find the source, walked between clouds, led by only the sound of voices. When I arrived, only the last part was heard...

"I have no answer to that, I'm afraid someday I'll be tested again, and my words will come to bite me back. All I can promise is that, as long as Joong lives a good life, no matter how much of mine will be taken, I won't regret".

I saw the person kneeling on the velvety floor, his shoulders sagged, looking down like the energy already ran out of him. I walked closer, and slowly kneeled in front of him, but he didn't even look up. Nine! My Nine...finally I found you. I tried to wipe the tears that ran down his cheeks, but my hands touched nothing, like an illusion. What life are you talking about, my dear? What is this that I look at right now? Your memory?

"Exactly, Joong. It is his memory". The sudden voice startled me, made me turned and saw an old man, tall, wise looking, with long hair and robe walking calmly towards me. I didn't think I said that out loud, so how could he know?

"He was just here, the moment your life ended...so it is a fresh memory too, take time to dissipate", the old man said with a smile.

"Where is he now, then? I want to see him", I stood up and asked in a hurry. I'd waited for so long, to only finally find him here.

"Well, somewhere you didn't want to be anymore. I don't know where to place you now...on one hand, is his wish, on another hand was your wish".

"A place I didn't want to be...? I don't understa...no, it cannot be!".

"Yes, Joong. He wanted you to live, but you didn't want to".

"It was said out of anger", I looked down in regret.

"Why were you angry, Joong? Tell me, so I could understand".

"He's the light and the sturdy tree that I leaned on. I could keep the loneliness, my sadness of living without my parents, my fear, everything...securely hidden at the back of my mind; because every space was full of him".

"Is that how you feel, during the time you were with him?".

"Yes. But, suddenly, he was gone, left me with nothing, except memories which no one else accepted. Yet still, I kept my belief. Years gone by, gradually, the memories of him faded, the space he once filled, became empty. Bitter feeling consumed me, made me angry to even think about him anymore. If he didn't want to be with me in this life, then what's the point for me to live the next life, alone, just like this one".

"Oh, Joong. It's never good to decide in anger, wasn't it?".

"There's no light to guide me anymore, no sturdy tree to lean on. It was a weak excuse, isn't it, but at that time, it's how I feel".

"Are you angry, still, now?

"No. I had made peace with whatever had happened to me. The friend that I'd protected today, taught me to trust my own belief, regardless of other's view. Since then, all I chose to remember, is that I love him, very much".

"Such a forgiving soul, Nine had chosen well. As it is a conflicting wish, all I could offer to you is a chance; to leave everything as of now, and go straight to heaven, a reward for such noble death; or to be reborn again, without a guarantee of how your next lives turned out to be; good or bad. Which will you choose, Joong?".

"I wish to live, to find him again, or for him to find me. If ever, we shall meet, I want to tell him, to forgive me for being angry. I am the same person inside, as he knew years back, who loved him very much".

"Hmm, there's no guarantee, that you will meet him again, Joong. Will you still be willing to try?"

"I want to see him again, so no matter how long it'll take, I'll live through it all. I'll find him, and keep him with me too, at that time".

"Oh! Such fighting spirit! Then, your wish shall be granted, and you shall be reborn, until the day you decide, on your own, that you have had enough...and, before I send your soul to be kept safe until the next birth, don't you want to know, who is Nine?"

"He is someone that I love, and that's all that I need to know". The old man just smiled, nodded, and my soul turned into a tiny light and sent for safekeeping, until the start of a next lifespan.