Letters From The Sky (JoongNine AU)

Chapter 34

Border Of Arwan Kingdom, Near the Mountainside

Joong

"Joong, what will you do when this war ends? Me, I would go back to my village, buy a cow and farm on the small land beside the river near my house. When I left, my third child was just borne, now he would already be, let see, almost three years old. He might not know who I am, oh my god!", Balzo, was paired up with me just recently. We were guarding the border for almost three months now. The kingdom was in dire need of soldiers, so they recruited the man from every village, regardless of their family situation.

"I will remain in the army, Balzo. I have nowhere to go. Orphan. No relative too", I said with a grim smile on my face. People with families to return to, counted everyday on this harsh land, looking forward for the time they could see their loved one again. But, I lived everyday as it was, there's no future, no one to see, no one to hug me, didn't even have a home to return to.

"Really? Impossible, Joong. Then who is Nine? Isn't that your love one's name?". My eyes were alert, looking at Balzo who laughed and shook his head. "You're sleep talking, and because it happened so many times already, I didn't think it was just a random name? How is she? How long you've been together?", Balzo said while bumping his shoulder against mine. Did I really think about him that much, to even call his name in my dreams?

"He's no one, Balzo", I answered curtly. Balzo was coughing unintentionally, his eyes widened and looked at me with questioning eyes. "Yes, Balzo, Nine is a lad. Why?".

"Well, forgive me, for assuming it's a girl. My bad, Joong", Balzo said and smiled.

"It's alright, I knew it was hard to digest, even for us back then", I said back.

"You're a hard shell to crack, eh, Joong. At times, I thought you must be a harsh guy, rarely smile, don't talk that much and look mad sometimes, well, who won't, war is not for anyone's joy".

"And you're one talkative guy, Balzo, you talk enough for both of us". My words that were said seriously, cracked the other guy up. He was such a happy man, in this gloomy time of war, even with a family left behind, how could he still be able to smile and laugh liked always? "Balzo...", I started but hesitated.

"Yes, Joong?".

"Hmm, there's another thing...but, then you might think that I was out of my mind...".

"Don't worry, Joong. Looking at the mountain ahead of us, talking with you is the only sane thing I've done during these 3 months".

"Nine existed...only to me".

"What do you mean, a ghost? Don't scare me!".

"No, I grew up with him at the Ophanage, until one day he just disappeared, and no one, other than me, knew or remembered him". Balzo was silent for a long time. I sighed and looked down, another person that must had thought how to say I'm crazy without being so blunt. "It's alright, Balzo, you can say it, "Joong, you're crazy", even I used to think liked that at one time".

"No, I didn't think liked that at all", Balzo said, and looked at me. I could see that there's no trace of lie inside those eyes. "You think he's real, Joong, do you feel he's real or do you deeply believe he's real?".

I was the one who left doubting myself to choose which answer. But, the anger that I felt of being left alone, the pain of wanting to hold someone you didn't have, and also the feeling of love that still didn't lessen a bit even after years; could a made up person; an imagination; be that clear?

"He's real", finally I said what had been inside my heart, even when every fact went against it. I could see Balzo smiled again, and hold my shoulder, "You could tell me everything about him, Joong. We must cherish every memory that we own. Why let other people determine whether it's right, real or what? To what value it is compared anyway? Right? So, my brother, crack that shell of yours, don't be afraid to not follow any standard".