𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄━︎━︎ B. Barnes ✓︎

𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞

Chapter Five:
No Longer Numb

FALLON WAS ANGRY. SHE had never been so angry and infuriated in her entire life and that was saying a lot. She sat in her hotel room, her fists clenched at her sides and her jaw clenched so tightly she was sure that her teeth were soon to start squealing in agony if her jaw stayed in the position angry longer. She wanted to punch something, no she needed to. And so she did. She reeled her fist back, slamming it into the hotel wall and didn't even let out a cry of pain when the wall cracked from her strength.

She was going to kill that bastard, and she was going to die trying. But then a thought came to her head, one that suddenly made her jaw and fists unclench. A thought that she would never dare think or even care about. The Winter Soldier seemed like he had his life together. He seemed like he was slowly starting to crawl away from the title of the Winter Soldier the longer he stayed hidden, and suddenly, Fallon felt bad for reminding him of his days as the emotionless and heartless soldier.

Fallon wasn't angry at Bucky Barnes, no, she was angry at herself. She was angry at the fact that she let these thoughts plague her mind, she was angry that her last kill was instead a suicide that suddenly made her feel something. Luca's letter seemed to wake something inside of Fallon, something the girl hadn't experienced in a long, long while. She felt remorse. The letter Luca had left for her had made her feel again. She wasn't numb anymore, she wasn't as gaurded as she was not a week ago. Why Luca's letter made her feel these things, she would never know.

Fallon didn't want to feel again. She wanted to be numb, to be void of emotions. Fallon wanted to be able to go up to the winter soldier and place a bullet right between his eyes without feeling an ounce of regret, or remorse, or anything. Being numb, being away from the side of her that was humane, that made Fallon feel like herself. And maybe that was screwed up―︎which it most definitely was―︎but Fallon couldn't help it. She hadn't known anything but numbness since the night she had been brutally dragged from her home―︎wait. Why did she suddenly remember that? Why did Fallon suddenly remember a glimpse of her old life. That wasn't supposed to happen, she was positive of that. She needed her mind to be wiped again. She needed something to be done to her.

Fallon was going crazy, and it was all because her emotions were starting to break through her hard, cold, numb exterior that she had so professionally built for herself. She needed to feel the pain of her memory being wiped, she needed to feel the pain of needles being injected into her skin in hopes of making something ten times better than both the Winter Soldier and Black Widow combined. But, it was too late for that. Fallon had gone and killed every HYDRA member that she could get her hands on―︎of course, there was no remorse there.

She didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to be back inside the one place she's been wanting to escape since she was a teenager. She didn't understand why Luca's letter suddenly changed her entire being. She didn't understand why her eyes had connected with Bucky Barnes, and something seemed to click. She didn't understand what was happening to her, and Fallon didn't like it when she didn't know the gist of things. Fallon didn't like this. But yet, there was this tiny voice in the back of her head that was whispering to her that it was okay to feel emotions, that it was okay to care, that it was okay to turn her humanity back on.

And that's exactly what was happening to Fallon. Luca's letter had reached inside of her, wrapping around her cold heart and permanently imprinted the words on there, forcing her to hear them over and over, forcing her to feel the effect of his words over and over. How such a simple letter could turn on a switch that was hidden so far back into the depths of Fallon's soul that not even she could reach it, astonished her. It was Luca's fault that Fallon was starting to dethaw from the numbness. It was Luca's fault that Fallon felt remorse. All of it was Luca's fault, and Fallon didn't know if what was happening to her was a good or bad thing.

775 words
I liked this chapter a lot more than I should lmao.

I hope you all enjoyed! Stay safe! Until next time, bye loves!♥️