𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄━︎━︎ B. Barnes ✓︎

𝐒𝐢𝐱

Chapter Six:
Maybe

FALLON LAID IN HER bed, continuously flipping a knife up in the air and then catching it once more. This had been her state for two days. She would only move from this position to clean herself up and to eat before laying back down and throwing the knife carelessly, not caring at this point if it missed her hand and violently sliced her throat open. Fallon was in a state of 'I don't care what happens, I've officially failed my mission and want to die.' Though, she hadn't truly failed her mission, not yet.

She was just growing closer and closer to failing her mission the more she could feel the feelings start to evade her body. She was uncomfortable and had spent the last two days trying her best to seal up the crack that had been placed within her cold exterior, but no matter how hard she tried, Luca's letter continued to scream its words in her head in a violent cycle.

Maybe it was HYDRA who had failed their mission. Maybe it was them who hadn't worked her harder or brain washed her more―︎maybe that was the reason her exterior was so easily broken by words that hadn't been physically said, but instead had been written down on a simple sheet of harmless white note book paper.

As Fallon continued to lay there, she caught her knife before laying her arm down to her side and allowing her eyes to just stare mindlessly at the ceiling. She was being absolutely pathetic. She could hear the HYDRA men's voice echoing through her head, yelling how pathetic she was being. How she let one simple letter destroy all of the hard work they had built―︎which wasn't true. Fallon could still kick somebody's ass in two seconds―︎that included both the Winter Soldier and Black Widow―︎it was just the feeling of not wanting to.

Her mind started to go over all of the ruthless kills that she had completed. Murdering innocent children, murdering someone that was suspected of being against HYDRA when really they were just a regular business man that had entered the wrong part of the internet. It was then that Fallon realized how much of a monster she was―︎she was a worse monster than both the Winter Soldier and Black Widow combined. And suddenly, Fallon was terrified of herself and what she had become. But at the same time, she didn't know any better nor did she know anything different.

All she knew was to be given a specific mission and target and to go after that person, kill them with the least suspicion as possible, come back and give a successful mission report. Her mind  went back to the teenager who had been at the wrong place at the wrong time, developing abilities that HYDRA wanted to have access of, and it was then that Fallon realized that she had been saving the teenager when she had killed her. She had saved the girl from coming back to the HYDRA facility, she had saved the girl from being tortured to such a painful extent that she became a monster. Of course, Fallon got severely punished for her actions, but she made up a lie, claiming the girl was going to kill her and get away either way.

Suddenly, a smile found its way on to Fallon's face. It felt so foreign, and it made her confused as to why it was such a difficult action. But she smiled, and she did it because she realized that she had been saving people from the awful people that HYDRA was―︎in a more twisted and messed up way that was. The thought of suddenly saving someone seemed to intrigue her. It seemed to have a better affect on her than the thought of killing someone. This was progress. And maybe, just maybe, Fallon would make the selfish decision and chose not to kill James Barnes. Because maybe James could help her, maybe he could show her how to cope. Maybe, one day, she could be okay again. But maybe was a long shot, first she had to gain the trust of the brown haired male, show him that she was no longer a threat but instead she wanted his help. And maybe, there was a way that she could give him something in return.

Maybe was starting to become a better tasting mission than the one she had before. And Fallon liked it. Fallon really, really liked it.