The Month Of May

Chapter 20

I HAD BEEN PREPARED, BUT I STILL HATED THE QUESTIONINGS.

Seriously. The constant questionings and suspicion everywhere was seriously annoying. I had to answer the same questions over and over again. If the guard was suspicious, then I just used my eyes to wipe his memory and replace it with good feelings. It left me a little dizzy since I'd had to use it so much, but whatever worked. I couldn't have anyone stopping my mission.

The most annoying thing was when they questioned how I'd gotten into the military. Frankly, it was the only thing they should be asking since everyone had been accounted for. No one random ever just walked into the military, no. Everyone was always accounted for...I'd managed to avoid it with my eyes so far, but I was worried that one day I'd already be too exhausted to use my eyes, and they'd find out...

That was what terrified me most.

"You look tired, Annie...Are you alright?"

I looked over to see Armin trotting toward me. His blonde hair had fallen into his face, but I could still see his worried expression. I just shrugged. He had been coming to check up on me a lot, it was strange. I can't say I hated it or anything, either. Normally I craved solitude, but...I guess it was different with him. Maybe it was because I knew he wasn't out to harm me, or he wasn't trying to use me. Yeah, that was it. For the first time, someone was actually trying to talk to me without worrying about a mission or preaching about their cause...

"Yeah, I'm okay," I mumbled before Armin could question me again. "Sorry. It's just been...a lot these past few weeks."

"I know what you mean," Armin agreed. He couldn't actually, though. He wasn't guilty like I was. Still, I heard him out because I needed a distraction. "Ever since Officer Nile was assassinated, the guards have been so strict. I understand why, since we need to catch the spy, but...it's still pretty terrifying."

Oh, Armin. He had no idea...I mean, he was right, It was terrifying, but I wasn't terrified for the same reasons as him. He wanted to catch the traitor...I needed to stay undercover. It was as simple as that...Well, at least for me. He had no idea.

"Yeah, it's pretty horrifying," Was all I said. He could tell I didn't really want to talk about, and thankfully, he dropped it.

"Did you hear Shadis talking about the midpoint evaluations?" He said instead. I shook my head from side to side; I wasn't exactly aware of what he was talking about. I tended to tune out most of the time when Shadis started talking. "Well, he said that he'll be evaluation us within the next few days...and then he'll be ranking us. Everyone gets ranked, but not everyone will be in the top ten. The top ten can be scouted by Erwin if they remain there by the end of the year."

"What?" I had never heard of that. Top ten...? If I was in the top ten, then he'd scout me out. If I was scouted out, I'd be in real trouble...Erwin might find me and realize... "Does Erwin look at his potential top ten now? His potential scouts?"

"Uh, honestly I don't know," Armin shrugged. "Probably, but I don't think he'd be paying attention to just a couple of scouts right now, not with the assassination stuff going on..."

"Oh," Regardless, I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk even the slightest chance of being caught. I'd have to drop out of the top ten...

"Annie, are you alright?" I guess he could tell I was worried about something. Was I really so easy to read? I thought my face was stony, I thought people could never tell...He took it even further by asking the next question. "Are you worried because of your last name?"

"I t-told Shadis my parents didn't get out, but..." I paused. What lie had I told Armin? It seemed like that was so long ago... I racked my brain, hoping I could figure out just what I had said. "It's not like they'd speak for me. They abandoned me."

Yup. That was it.

"...What if my parents adopted you?" He asked. I certainly hadn't expected that question, but it wasn't a bad idea. We looked rather similar. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked-"

"No, that's...not a bad idea," I said. He trusted me enough for this, though...? It felt...nice to have someone want to take me in for non selfish reasons. "Your parents would be okay with it?"

"Probably. I'll have to ask, but I'm sure they'd say yes. I've talked about you a lot, so..."

He talked about me a lot? Probably bad things, I'd assume. Couldn't blame him. Still, I nodded, even though I couldn't help but be suspicious, even of him. None of us had predicted something like this would happen, I think I was definitely in shock...

He smiled innocently. And for the first time, I felt guilt.

"Don't worry, Annie. I'll get this figured out for you."