Learning What Real Guys Are like

Lesson 1: The Secret Emotional Life of Men

At the most pared-down psychological level, being a man is about TWO things: Hiding emotions/being seen as 'tough' & Making money

These two primary drives are SO important that I literally want you to tattoo those two words onto your memory right now: TOUGH & MONEY

Understand these 2 basic driving facts about men, & you will ALREADY have given yourself a massive advantage over 99.8% of other women. In fact, whether your single or coupled, understanding these 2 fundamental facts will MASSIVELY increase your insight into a male mind & allow you to get the love you want, need, & DESIRE.

Right there, you've got the essence of the male psyche - & it drives literally EVERYTHING we do, from the kind of job we get, to when we want to have kids, to the type of number of women we sleep with.

Here's what it's Like to be Born a Guy

Still in Mom's tummy: your Mom gets an amniocentesis test done & it told, "it's a boy!" Your parents immediately start thinking about you differently than if you'd been a girl: Mom gets out the rollers & brushes & paints the nursery blue, & Dad breaks out the cigars & starts making plans for you to take over the family business when you grow up.

Born: Mom wraps you in one of those blue fluffy blankets & takes you home to the blue-painted nursery. Your grandparents descend on you with 'boy-baby' gifts: a camo-painted crib, a pair of tiny baby basketball boots. Dad hangs up a mobile with alpha-predator animals on it like sharks, tigers, & bears (if you were a girl, you'd get the 'pretty' animals like butterflies & hummingbirds)

On your first birthday: you get a trike colored like a racing car, pajamas printed with all kinds of trucks & a toy bear dressed like a firefighter. You have already started getting comfortable with the ideas of toughness, violence, competition, & being strong.

Kindergarten: you fall out of a tree & start crying. All of your friends gather round & laugh at you. The gym teacher hauls you aside & puts a Band-Aid (with a tough superhero on it) on your cut & quietly tells you to 'man up, son - crying's for girls.' You snort back the tears; your friends stop laughing. Holy crap, the teacher was right! Lesson learned: tears are for wimps. If you get hurt, shove it all down inside & hide it, otherwise people will LAUGH AT YOU.

Grade school: you get beaten up for the first time. You come home sniffling. Your dad takes you outside & tells you to 'quit crying & make him proud.' Then he teaches you how to fight back. Next thing you know you're in boxing class getting taught how to ram somebody's nasal bone through the back of their skull.

Middle school: you get beaten up - again. This time, though, you've learned your lesson: you 'take it like a man' without a single public tear (although in the bathroom afterwards, you do sniffle some - once you've locked yourself safely in a stall where nobody can see you.) The lesson of acting tough & never showing emotion is already beginning to harden like an evil carapace around your heart.

Age 15: you get your first job & you get your first PAYCHECK. Mom bakes you a cake & your Dad slaps you on the back & tells you that now you're the 'man of the house'. You're confused at first because you can't see how bagging groceries at Costco for eight hours a week is so great. Your friends are weirdly jealous; they still have to ask Mom for pocket-money. When you hear them complaining about it, you discover that 'winning' over other guys feels freaking amazing.

Age 16: one weekend, you use some of your hard-earned Costco money to take a girl to the movies. When you pull out a fistful of cash to pay for her popcorn & diet coke, she blushes, & smiles at you, & asks if you can get her some candy to go with the popcorn. Nervously you feel in your pockets for extra change ... & when you realize you have enough, & buy her what she wants, she kisses you on the cheek & makes a big fuss over you, & you feel warm & proud & strong & masculine ... & it's attractive. You start to figure out that it's not the JOB that's important, it's the MONEY YOU MAKE FROM IT that's the big deal here. Lesson learned: MONEY equals MANHOOD. The more money you make, the better it feels.