Learning What Real Guys Are like

Lesson 20: When to Sleep with a Man

When Do I Sleep with Him?

Because when that question comes up 100 different things run through your head:

If I sleep with him too soon will he think I am too easy?

If I wait TOO long, will he think I’m a prude or lose interest?

What if he’s clearly trying to…but I don’t feel ready?

Does he just want sex or does he want a real relationship?

I don’t want to mess this up!

& the list goes on and on and on…

What women want is the magical number. That magical number saying “Here, this, THIS is when you sleep with him”.

But it doesn’t exist. & it never will.

Why?

Because all relationships are different.

So if there is no magical number I can give you, why did I write this? Because, while there isn’t a magical number, there are some ground rules you can lay down to make sure you sleep with him when you want to.

We’ll also cover knowing if he just wants sex, or if he wants a relationship & how to turn that first kiss into steamy sexual tension without ever taking off your clothes.

So let’s dive in!

The First Date Sex Myth

Over & over again women are told that if you sleep with a man too soon – let’s just say the first date or two – you are too easy. Well, I call BS, but it depends on YOUR intentions. For some couples, sex on the first date is exactly what they both want & need & they go on to have fantastic relationships. For others, & I’d have to say, the majority of new relationships, waiting is better.

Before we jump to that, let’s talk about what I mean by a “date” in the first place.

A date is longer than one drink, one coffee, one movie (no one talks to each other during movies anyway, right?) No, a real date is when the two of you spending actual time talking & getting to know each other. If you get together, have one cocktail (or four), exchange a few witty pleasantries, & soon you’re in his bedroom ripping off each other’s clothes off, you’re clearly just “hooking up”.

That’s fine if that’s what you’re looking for…but if you were hoping for a deeper connection, you’ve just sunk that battleship.

Also, remember what I said earlier about how men are wired for the chase? (I said it a hundred times for a reason!) By sleeping with him, you are depriving him of the opportunity to try & earn you over time. To fantasize about what you look like naked, & to try & devise a plan to get you to want him too.

I can guarantee you that if the date is going well he’s already undressed you in his mind & thought about the sexy noises you make when you are reaching climax (hell, you may have done the same to him).

So, should you sleep with him?

Bottom line, that is your choice, but here are some suggestions I have for you:

Don’t Be Afraid to Kiss Him

While I’m saying you might want to slow your roll when it comes to a first-date naked tango lesson, I don’t feel that way about kissing.  Kissing is awesome.

First, that kiss is going to tell you a LOT about this guy’s potential. There’s some fascinating science of what kissing tells your brain about a potential partner. There’s a mini-chemistry course happening in your mouth (um…yay!?) when you swap saliva. Your pheromones & genetics do instant calculus to determine how compatible your DNA is & your brain quickly translates that into “yum, I could kiss this guy all night.” or “ick, this feels like kissing a friend.”