Learning What Real Guys Are like

Lesson 2: The Mask of Masculinity

Okay, so in the previous section, I introduced you to the TWO basic psychological drives of being a man: hiding emotions/being seen as 'tough' & making money

We've just now covered the money aspect (& why it has such a HUGE impact on a man's desire & ability to fall in love & commit)

...Which means you know that making money is vital to a man, that it's the foundation of our self-worth, that we NEED to complete with (& winning against) other men to make that money. The status & respect we attain from making it is so crucially important to us that it's not just a desire - it's more like a DUTY

Oh - & the PRESSURE of knowing it's our duty to provide (whether you need it or not) is a burden that weighs HEAVILY on us...& never, ever let's up

Again, this might seem super sexist & crass to you - & look, I totally understand if that's the case. (I don't exactly love that these things are so important to us guys either, for the record)

But, I just want to reiterate here that all these traits aren't my 'opinion' or just my own personal beliefs...they are primally wired inherent characteristics in the male psyche, & once you start to understand how they factor into a guy's behavior & decision-making processes, you'll start to see them EVERYWHERE

One last quick primer before we get into the EMOTIONAL side of the male mind...

The Primal Provider Drive: what we've covered so far: men are shaped by nature & by nature to seek out respect by proving ourselves against others, we need the challenge of competition & striving against other men, we want to WIN more than anything, providing financially makes us feel powerful, & forms the backbone of our self-worth as men, the primal drive to provide is a heavy burden psychologically (even if we don't let on - or even realize it ourselves), we feel emasculated & like failures if we don't feel like we can provide, even when things are going well, we're constantly stressing about our responsibilities to provide & whether we're 'good enough', a man who feels emasculated can't love himself OR you

WARNING WARNING WARNING: what I'm sharing with you right here is PRIVILEGED INFORMATION that should NOT be shared to your man willy-nilly. For the love of all that's holy, DO NOT go to your guy & say something like, 'Hey, did you know all men are hyper-competitive & obsessed with money??' This information is to help YOU understand the male mind, it's not intended as something to discuss WITH MEN. Trust me on this one

Alright, so now it's time to start using what you've learned about a man's Primal Provider Drive to solve the riddle of his emotions & start figuring him out!

After over a decade of tens of thousands of coaching calls, interviews, phone calls & emails with thousands of men, I've boiled it down the 3 foundational traits that go into EVERY man's psychological makeup

Obviously, there is no 'cookie cutter man' out there; everybody's different, & some men will have different 'ratios' of these ingredients to others

But EVERY man has the following 3 traits as the essential backbone of his nature. Read on to find out what they are...

Trait ONE: We hold in our emotions at all costs

By the time a boy is five years old, he's pretty much been taught that it's not okay to cry in public. He may still DO it, but the expectations is by the time he's ten he's perfected it. & if he's still doing it at 12, that's a problem

The main thing you need to know is that, starting from when we were tiny little boys, we are strongly discouraged from displaying any kind of emotion or vulnerability