Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 29: The Necklace

The following week I barely come outside, knowing that somewhere around town Rory and Jess will walk hand in hand, kiss under a tree, watch the fairy lights together.

It hurts me more than I will ever admit. I promised Lydia I was fine one day when she came back from Doose's and told me that she saw them together in town.

I only had swallowed, repaired my attitude and told her I already knew that. I wasn't as convincing as I thought, she could see right through me.

I also have created this rare habit of wearing another dance costume every day, but never honestly dance. At least it makes me think of other things than him. I stand in front of my mirror as I do a lot lately, looking at the red dress I have bought for Christmas.

Brad and his mother have invited me to spend Christmas with them, since they know I don't have any family around. Normally I would spend Christmas with Luke, but even though we have talked about the whole situation and my secret, he hasn't invited me this year.

I try to ignore it, remembering how busy he is around this time of year. He probably doesn't have time to spend Christmas properly.

Gilbert drives up the driveway of Brad's home in the evening, his house decorated with a few lights but nothing special. People in Hartford are very different from people in Stars Hollow. It feels weird not to be there on Christmas.

His mother opens the door with a big smile, welcoming me when I give her a small present. I do the same with Brad and they lay both their presents under the Christmas tree, next to one with my name on it. At least I am welcome.

'Have you thought about which schools you will apply for?' His mother asks during diner. I swallow my meat and think about that. I completely have forgotten.

'Probably Harvard, Yale, maybe Oxford in England', I reply polite. His mother explains to me how travelling is a good thing for education, but after almost ten years of living nowhere and everywhere I have figured out myself.

She must be the first person to forget who I am or who I have been. I don't mind. Brad on the other hand can see I'm my usual self, during dinner his blue eyes always stare at me with a certain gaze.

I don't want to talk about it, but after dinner when I go outside for some fresh air he follows me as the good friend he is.

'Are you feeling good?' He asks concerned. I turn to him, a fake smile on my face. 'Of course, and thank you for inviting me. I'm glad I don't have to spend Christmas alone', I whisper.

'I thought you always spent Christmas with that man from the diner? Luke, I guess'.

'Well, not anymore apparently', I answer unsure. We keep quiet for a moment, staring at the stars in the sky. Hartford is more pretty than I first thought.

'I heard Rory is together with Jess', he breaks the ice. I look down at the ground, cursing myself for telling Brad about my history with Jess. He doesn't even know all the details. 'I'm fine', I assure him when his mother calls for us.

'Presents!' She yells excited and I walk back inside, ignoring the look on his face. He knows I'm not fine, but he is smart enough not to mention it.

Turns out his mother has given me a few books I wanted to read but never bought, and Brad himself gave me a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a star.

I couldn't but smile when he helped me to put it on. He knows I love Astronomy. After I said goodbye to his mother, Brad walks me outside, the cold air approaching us again. I give him a tight hug, and he promises me that everything will be fine.

I can't but hug him tighter. Brad has been the only other boy I ever felt safe with. Gilbert drives me back to Stars Hollow, telling me about how he and Lydia have ordered Pizza and bullied the deliverer by sending a few back. I can't but laugh.

Once we drive past the gazebo I see Kirk sitting alone in the cold and ask Gilbert if he can drop me of here. After a few moments of doubt he does and I walk over to Kirk, holding the leftovers from our dinner.

'You want some?' I ask, gesturing the box at him. He looks up in surprise when I sit down next to him and takes the box willingly, not even saying something. 'Why are you sitting here alone, Kirk?'

'My mother has thrown me out of my house, I wanted to eat at Luke's but he's closed', he mumbles. Luke's is closed? Even when I spent my Christmas there we would eat during his break, it was enough for me.

I look over at the light in his diner, seeing Lorelai sit in front of Luke and next to them, Rory and Jess holding hands. I can't unlock my gaze from them, knowing Luke has found another family and Jess another love.

'This chicken is very good', Kirk mumbles between his bites. Tears appear in my eyes when I see Jess laughing for the first time in months and all I can do is nod a little. 'You can have them all', I say soft.

We sit there for at least an hour, my heart slowly breaking when Kirk keeps on talking about his new cat. The only hope I have is that I won't lose Brad. At least I have another friend.