Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 57: Jess Mariano

Jess' POV

One Year Later

The moment the thick clouds of New York let through a little ray of sunlight I unlock the window of my small apartment. Letting the cold air in. Madelaine would be annoyed at me for letting the warmth out but this is the only way to focus.

I look down at the street beneath me, cars passing by. Following each other. Unbelievable I grew up here. Even after a year of being back, I still didn't get used to it.

15 October, I read on the calendar that hangs on the wall and sigh deep, knowing the coldest months still have to come. At least those are the cosy ones.

I sit down on my window seat, my legs out of the window. My feet on the small staircase next to our building. Unbelievable that a stupid object as a staircase has changed my whole life.

What if Liz hadn't locked the window for me that night? I would've never climbed the stairs, never read the book only two metres away from her window. Her window.

I grab my notebook, trying to remember all the small details about our story. Wanting to write them down as fast as I can.

I have kept my promise of writing our story and most already has been written but sometimes I remember other things about her that make me smile even more. The way she glares at me every time I steal her food, the way she dances around in the living room. I have to tell it all, there is no other option.

'Mariano!' I look out of the window when I hear my name from downstairs, seeing a friend of mine waving on the streets.

'He wants you!' Matteo screams. I throw my notebook aside and jump up, not sure if I have heard him correctly.

'What!'

'He wants you, Mariano! Get the hell downstairs!' I met Matteo when we moved here. Sometimes we take care of his cat when he goes on tour. Not a regular tour, he is a published author. I can't be more excited.

I run down the stairs after locking our door, meeting Matteo in the crowded street, his arms wide open. 'Simon wants you! He loves the story,' he says and we hug for a second, not knowing what to tell each other.

'Is he serious? The story isn't even finished, I don't have a title ...'

'Calm down, he loves your writing. I have to admit, you have a creative soul up there. I mean, meeting a girl on the staircase, a lost love for three years ... this is golden,' he sighs and lays his hands on my shoulder. He is mocking me.

'You know the story is real though,' I remind him and he raises an eyebrow, not being able to hide his smile. 'Still it is magical. Can't believe she choose you after all though.' I slap him against his shoulder and together we walk in the streets, laughing at our loudest.

A year ago I couldn't graduate, I hurt Madelaine, Luke, Liz, Rory ... and so many other people. I even hurt myself at some point. I never talked about that. I thought my life would be over, but it was all just beginning.

'Where are we going?' I ask when we don't walk our normal route to the diner. Matteo turns around with a big smile on his face, making me curious.

'Simon is in a rush to talk with you,' he whispers and holds still for one second. Staring at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

'You are insane,' I sigh, but can't hide the butterflies in my stomach. My story would be published. My story, Madelaine's story. Our story.

'I will be there first!' He screams and starts running like an idiot, strangers looking at us in disgust. I couldn't care less and run behind him. I'm becoming a published author.

(time skip)

That evening I sit in my usual place again, watching the view through the window. Madelaine would be home any minute and I can't wait.

We've had our ups and downs but at this point we agreed on talking to each other instead of fighting. This might have been the best decision made so far. Our fighting eased down and we loved each other more every day.

'Come here,' I tell her when she closes the door. Her long blonde hair in a low ponytail, a little messy. She loves her new job. 'You seem happy,' she notices and kisses me softly when I drag her on my lap, holding her tight between my legs. Watching the view together.

There is nothing else in this world to care for, only each other. I keep smiling at her, knowing she feels weird about that. This isn't me.

'Tell me,' she urges and holds her hand behind my head, softly touching my hair. I only want her. 'You know the book I've been writing ...'

'Our story,' she remarks with a playful grimace and I nod, holding her even tighter. If her reaction won't be good, this whole thing would be ruined.

'Simon wants to publish it,' I whisper. She keeps staring at me, her blue eyes twinkling in the lights of New York, not saying anything. These butterflies shouldn't turn into thorns.

'Are you serious?' She asks after a moment, hope in her voice. 'Of course, why else ...'

'Jess, that's insane!' She says relieved and grabs both her arms around me, climbing even closer. 'I told you, you are an excellent writer,' she adds and I lay my head against her neck, smiling bright in it. This is all I need in my life, the feeling you have when you do something right. I'm making her happy.

'You are glad?' I ask to be sure, a little afraid. She pushes herself away from me, staring in my eyes. She wouldn't lie. 'You're the only reason I'm smiling today,' she sighs and lays her hand around my face to kiss me another time.

I breathe in deeply, holding her against me, my arms around her waist. In between the kisses she leans back, trying to say something but it's hard to resist giving up on this moment. Still I do.

She looks guilty at me for interrupting the moment and I smile vague when she leans closer again, only not to kiss me this time.

'What did you decide to call it,' she asks curious. The warmth of her breath tickling my neck. 'I hadn't thought about that ...' I admit and she shakes her head softly, standing up from my lap.

'You should think of something,' she says after a moment and finds her way to the staircase. I follow her to our bedroom and see her in front of the window, watching the night sky.

'What are you thinking of?' I walk closer to her, holding my arms around her body when she leans against my chest. The darkness all around us.

'Falling,' she whispers.

'Falling?'

'That would be a good title,' Maddy explains and looks up at me, my eyes confused.

I could tell by her gaze she thought something more. 'Falling ...' I repeat again, feeling something about that name.

'Because,' she sighs and sits down at our window seat, me following her lead. 'The moment I met you, here in New York, I was falling. Not only for you but also for things that have been scaring me.' She sits a little closer, forcing me to look at her. I couldn't do anything else.

'I knew that in the end you would catch me,' she finally says. I nod softly, not wanting to show her how much this actually means to me.

'Falling,' I agree and smile softly at her, only to get a smile in return. We sit like that for the whole night, talking about the past and the possible future. We both have been falling, at least we would catch each other.

That is how things always go with us.