Falling - 𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝑜

Chapter 40: He Is Scared

Dave takes my beer out of my hands when we sit on the couch, watching other drunk people ruin Kyle's house. His parents won't be happy when they get back home.

I sigh, begging Dave to give me the beer back but he doesn't and empties it against a plant. It is not my habit to get drunk, especially after all the years of performing under stress. Most of my friends at the dance school used to do drugs, and for a few times, I had joined them. Regretting it immediately, but it helped for a while.

I stare in front of me, thinking back of that horrible time while my eyes fill with tears and Dave lays a hand on my shoulder. 'I can bring you home if you're tired of being here,' he suggests. At least he stayed sober. I shake my head and stand up, him following me.

'You should take care of Lane,' I notice when I look outside and see her throwing up in the bushes. He rolls his eyes the moment he sees her and sighs deep, leaning against the wall. I follow his lead.

'Since when does Lane even drink? She can't even be honest to her mother about her relationship with you, I mean-' But I stop talking when I see the look in his eyes. I shouldn't have brought this up, I know how much it has hurt him that Lane only wants a secret relationship. Her mother is horrible.

'Dave, have you seen Jess around?' I ask confused when I see Rory coming downstairs, tears running down her cheeks. 'No, but I have now,' He mumbles. That moment I see Jess coming down the stairs also, Dean giving him a filthy look when he tries to calm down Rory, in disgust of his new girlfriend.

Jess shakes his head in anger and walks away, but that moment Dean runs over to him and grabs him by his collar, throwing Jess against the wall. He falls down on the ground, all of a sudden getting everyone's attention. I hold a hand before my mouth, confused by what is going on.

'You hurt her!' Dean yells when Jess stands up and he grabs him for the second time, only to throw him against the edge of a wall, even harder. 'Dean stop!' I yell shocked, Dave holding me by my arm.

Jess stands up again and this time attacks Dean, both of them holding on to each other while trying to hurt the other one. People jump aside when Dean throws Jess over the couch, only to be pulled with him when Jess doesn't loosen him.

Rory cries even harder when I take her arm, there happened something with her and Jess. I can tell it by the look in her eyes. Dean punches Jess in the face for a few times, giving him a bleeding nose before Jess grabs him by his head and they stumble through the front door, all the people in the house following them outside.

I run behind them, ignoring all the warnings Dave is yelling at me. Everyone watches the fight, not wanting to get involved in any kind of way. I hear Rory behind me, her sobbing only getting worse.

'Dean!' I yell again, trying to make sense out of him. The last time I have seen Jess in a fight was in New York, this time it is even worse.

'Jess stop it!' Rory finally yells and once we see the blue and red lights of a police car, they both stop. Jess looking at Rory confused. That is the moment I remember his words. Rory stands up for Dean, again. Even while he is the one to start it.

'All of you are going home now!' The police officer yells and Kyle stumbles towards him trying to explain the whole scenario. With one last look at Rory, Jess turns around in anger and runs over to the lake behind the school. The moment Rory doesn't follow him, I do.

Nobody notices our lack of presence either way. That is how things always have been. After searching for a while, I see Jess sitting on the small bridge in the dark. His feet hanging above the water, smoking again.

I slowly walk over to him, and when he finally looks up he sighs, realizing the wrong girl has come to check in on him. I feel sick. When he puts his jacket aside I sit down next to him, staring into the darkness, the silence unbearable.

'I got desperate the first moment I saw you with Brad in Stars Hollow,' Jess mumbles after a few minutes. I turn to him in confusion, not thinking he would speak the whole evening. 'What?'

'I got desperate, thinking you loved someone else. That moment I realized Rory was into me and I took advantage of that. Turns out I do have some feelings for Rory after all but all she cares about is Dean.' He throws his cigarette in the lake, shaking his head.

'It has always been about Dean,' he whispers. 'Jess, I'm sure that-'

'No, you shouldn't say anything at all. You left me behind in New York! You might even be worse than Rory!' I lean back a little when he says that, the pain in his eyes.

'You honestly believe I left you?' I ask hurt. Suddenly I'm all aware of the alcohol in my blood and it doesn't do anything good. My emotions are horrible. He sighs deep, wanting to answer me but the moment our eyes meet he holds himself back, keeping quiet.

'At least I wanted to stay in contact, you never wrote me back,' I remark. Jess stands up in a rush, looking down on me when his dark hair falls over his eyes. I shouldn't mess with him right now.

'I stopped writing those letters because people from school would burn them! Hold them in front of me while they caught fire, telling me I was crazy for thinking you would actually love me!' His words come out in a rush, louder with every second and I stand up also. He never told me this.

'I loved you!' He finally claims and turns around to walk away. I run behind him, grabbing his arm to make him stop. 'Do you still love me?' I ask desperate. The gaze in his eyes softens and his breathing becomes slower. He looks around him, staring at every place but my eyes. I can't handle another lie.

'It really scares me,' he whispers after a moment. I search for eye contact when he looks down, forcing him to look at me again.

'What does?' I ask, not understanding him. 'That I might never love someone as strongly as I love you.' I drop my hand, the cold approaching my skin only in a second. His brown eyes resting on mine.

'What do we do about that?' I ask weakly.

'I'm not sure.' He takes his jacket again and lays it around my shoulders, seeing how cold I am. 'I'm bringing you home, it is late.' I hold him back, smiling vague.

'This isn't New York. I'm sure I'll be fine,' I assure him. That moment he takes my hand in his and leads me away from the bridge. 'Still I want to,' he says and together we walk out of the park, into the dark streets of Stars Hollow.

I decide not to mention anything about Rory crying, knowing he will never hurt a girl physically. My hand gets warmer with every second he holds it and for the first time in years I feel the familiar warmth approaching my skin.

Knowing Jess is by my side, I feel safe.