Love Above It All

Chapter 14

"Are you okay now? Hungry? May masakit?" mahinang tanong niya.

Napangiti ako ng tipid at umiling. I made sure he felt the movement of my head so he won't ask again. I just felt peaceful after the long day, I don't need pain killers, or food, or whatnots.

Katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming dalawa matapos kong iiyak ang sakit sa kanya. The sun is setting, nanatili akong naka-upo sa harap ng lapida ni Mama at hindi umalis sa tabi ko si Connor kahit hindi ko siya kinakausap. The birds flew to random directions above us and the leaves of the trees danced with the blusters of the wind. I closed my eyes and leaned on Connor's back, magkatalikuran na kami ngayon.

"Thank you." Garagal ang boses ko habang pinapasalamatan siya. Gumaan ang dinadala ko sa loob ko habang sinasabi ko ang lahat sa kanya

"Para saan?" he asked.

"For saving me," makahulugan kong sabi.

"For always bringing me up, kahit na lugmok na lugmok na ako. For being here," pagpapatuloy ko. Naramdaman kong gumalaw siya. He changed our positions, tumabi na siya sa akin at pinasandal ako sa balikat at braso niya.

"Hindi ka namulat sa karahasan, kaya ayos lang. Ayos lang kung iiwasan mo ako pagkatapos nito. Who wants to be someone with a bad childhood, full of trauma, and a girl who's nothing but a burden-"

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving!" he hissed, parang galit na naman ang tono niya.

"Your experience has nothing to do with us! And stop degrading yourself because I honestly think you're strong because you made it through, still holding on even after all the pain given. Don't look down on yourself. I am not leaving!" he declared.

"Your past doesn't make you less of a person. You're strong. And worth it. And loved. And whatever they say about you, I accept you. Because you are.. my Solanna." I remembered using almost the same words when I was comforting him! That made me smile, though I could feel a sting on my cheek, I still couldn't help it.

"Thank you," pagpapasalamat ko ulit. Nilingon ko siya at nakita kong nakatingin siya sa akin, nagtatanong kung para saan na naman 'yon.

"For not leaving," I whispered.

I felt happy, somehow, knowing that someone is here after I got beaten by that evil Deborah. Tuwing makakalabas ako sa cabinet ay mag-isa lang ako, umiiyak sa isang tabi habang tumatawag ng tulong na alam kong hindi darating.

"I'm sorry, Mama," I apologized to my mother. "I wasn't able to talk a lot today. I'm in pain, but your daughter's just fine. I'm still holding on to dear life."

Huminga ako ng malalim bago haplusin ang lapida at wala sa sariling tumayo. I looked down on her name.

Reva A. Cariazo.

I smiled. Don't worry about me, Mother. I'm not going to ask someone to kill me again. I'll hold on. I will come back to you, but not as soon as possible. I just want to be far from here. Please guide me.

"Tara na," aya ko kay Connor na pinagmamasdan ako.

Imbes na hayaan akong maglakad ay binuhat niya ako ng walang kahirap-hirap habang patungo kami sa kotse. Nakatitig lang ako sa gwapo niyang mukha. Nakita kong rumehistro ang ngisi sa kanyang labi at lumabas ang biloy niya sa kaliwang pisngi.

"Gwapo ko 'no?" he joked to lighten the atmosphere. Nanghihinang ngumiti lang ako habang inaayos niya ang seat belt ko.

"Bakit mo ako sinundan?" I asked in the middle of the road when I realized how he popped out of nowhere.

Nagulat nalang ako nang makita ko siya kanina, ni hindi man lang natakot sa madrasta ko. Kung sabagay kung ikukumpara mo sila, mas malakas tignan si Connor. It's just that she's strong to overpower me. Lumaki ako sa bayolenteng kapaligiran pero hindi ako lumaking bayolente. I couldn't fight physically.