Love Above It All

Chapter 7

Naalimpungatan ako at nagising dahil naramdaman ko ang init. I woke up late, it's already nine in the morning. Mabuti nalang at wala akong trabaho ngayon. I wandered my eyes around the unit and found no Connor. My lips thinned. Maybe he went home already. This place isn't even cozy.

I heaved a sigh and went to the bathroom to take a bath.

I can't get over last night. Pinatulog niya ako. Anong nangyari pagkatapos? Did he leave? I wrapped the towel on my hair and twisted it para hindi mahulog. Nagtaka ako, bakit dalawa ang toothbrush na narito?! Lumabas ako sa banyo at halos matalisod nang makita si Connor sa kusina at nakatalikod.

"Punyeta," I cursed softly while holding on to the wall for support. Napalingon siya sa akin at matamis na ngumiti.

"Good morning, wala kang lutuan kaya bumili nalang ako ng breakfast sa labas." Itinaas niya ang paper bag at mga cups na nabili. Lumapit ako sa kanya.

"I don't eat breakfast," I said when he opened the food container. Lumapit siya sa akin at itinapat ang tinidor sa bibig ko. Sinimangutan ko siya.

"Nganga na. Kaya ilang beses kang nahihimatay, e! 'Di kumakain," tudyo niya pa. I looked at him in the eye while the fork was still in front of my mouth. Naalala ko ang huling sinabi niya bago ako makatulog kagabi.

He's not straight... What does he mean by that?

Nang makita ang mariin kong titig ay ibinaba niya ang tinidor na tusok ang gulay na gusto niyang kainin ko. He gulped and went back to the kitchen.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin na hindi ka straight?" I fired right away. Ayaw kong magpaligoy-ligoy pa lalo na't kinakain na ako ng kuryosidad ko. I saw his body stiffened.

"Are you bisexual?" I asked carefully this time. It's a very sensitive topic. Napapanood ko sa telebisyon noon kung gaano kahirap sabihin sa isang tao ang tunay mong sekswalidad.

Coming out is never easy.

Humarap siya sa akin. His serious eyes met mine and I couldn't see his real expression. He's hiding it.

"Gay?" I asked again. He drank water from a bottle and he rolled his tongue over his lips after.

"If I am attracted to same sex, would that be considered gay?" He asked and walked to me. Ngayon ko lang napansin ang ibang damit niya kaysa kagabi. Napatunganga ako.

"To be real honest, I don't know. Until now I'm still confused. But I know, no girl charms Connor." Walang emosyon ang bawat salitang binibitawan niya. Parang nagpipigil.

"Do guys attract you?" tanong ko. Ngumiti lang siya at piniling hindi sagutin ang tanong ko.

I am not very well educated about the LGBT community but I stand with them with pride. I'm not against it. And I think there's nothing wrong about being part of it. Wala akong karapatan na husgahan sila sa tunay nilang pagkatao, o pagsalitaan sila ng masama, o kung ano man 'yan. They've been discriminated by way too many people, judged by the society poorly, and rejected for being themselves. Umiling ako. I cannot take their happiness away.

"So do you accept me? I'll settle for friendship. Or I understand if you want to cut ties with me now-"

His eyes already looked sorrowful and pained. Hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita dahil sa hindi pa rin nagsisink in sa akin ang inamin niya. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit ano pa siya, kahit ano pa ang sexual preference niya, tanggap ko siya. He's Connor! My first friend here!

"Tanga!" I pushed his shoulder slightly and almost shouted at him. Bahagyang namilog ang mga mata niya at napakurap dahil sa iritadong ekspresyon ko.