Alternative That 70s Show

Best Christmas

Man, the Grinch has a big butt," Donna muttered, eyes glued to the TV. She stood at the back of the basement with Eric and Hyde, who was holding a box of ornaments for the small tree in the shower. Fez sat in the lawn chair, Kelso on the couch, and Jackie in Hyde's chair.

"Yes," Fez smiled, "Nothing says Christmas like a brig, green, Grinch ass."

"Hold the latter for me," Donna ordered, grabbing a beer can from the box and climbing up the tiny latter next to the tree, Eric holding it for her.

"So, Eric, what're you doin' for Christmas Eve?" Kelso asked, tilting his head back to look at Eric.

"My parents are having the same lame Christmas party they have every year," He answered before mocking the adults' voices, "Hey neighbor, is that a mistletoe?" He began exaggerating a drunken make out, sticking his tongue in every direction, missing the disgusted look Hyde sent him.

"Alright," Donna said, fixing the can on the tree, "How does that look?"

Hyde and Eric turned to look, but their eyes immediately went to Donna's bottom, directly in front of them.

"Looks great, man," Hyde smirked as Eric muttered, "Oh, so fabulous."

"Guys," Donna grinned, pointing at the tree, "The ornaments are up here."

They looked up, giving rather unenthusiastic, "Oh, yeah," "Looks great."

"Steven," Jackie scolded, but he just grinned at her as he set the box of ornaments on the deep freeze. He patted her leg, and she stood, letting him take his seat before settling into his lap, his arm loosely draped across her waist.

"I just love Christmas," Jackie smiled after she was settled, "It's all about good tidings and cheer... and shopping."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus was going for," Hyde muttered.

"Hey, I give, too," Jackie whined, pouting at him, "You know every year my friends and I give gift baskets to the unfortunate."

"I think you mean less fortunate," Donna replied, a bit of a confused look on her face.

"Whatever," Jackie muttered carelessly, "Bums." Hyde snickered.

Hearing footsteps on the basement stairs, Jackie lifted herself from Hyde's lap just as Mrs. Forman entered the room, "Oh," She smiled, "What're you kids doing watching cartoons? Holiday Inn is on," She turned the knob on the TV, swaying and singing the song playing, "Where the tree tops glisten, la, la, la, listen!"

"Eric," She tapped his shoulder when she reached him, "Help me get the decorations."

"Sure, mom."

"You know what my favorite Christmas gift of all time is?" Kelso sat up abruptly, "Light Brite. It's fun makin' things with Light Brite." He grinned, but when no one else seemed to share his excitement, he pouted, muttering a bit defensively, "Well, it is."

"Man, my favorite gift is cash," Hyde smirked, "That way you can buy whatever you want. Know what I mean, Donna?"

"Uh huh," She muttered, giving him an odd look.