a/n this is a little different. it's based off a scene in a show i watch called reign. i have altered some things though so it's not exactly alike
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warnings; -royalty au (doesn't dive into a whole lot of it tho) -also keep in mind this is the 1500's (that's kind of important) -deals with miscarriage
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sasha blankly stared at the wall in front of her. her back was propped up on a stack of pillows as her legs rested in the sea of blankets that coated her and her husband's bed. all she could hear were the breaths that traveled in and out of her body. if only she could be at peace in the moment.
"sasha?" seth asked opening the rather large door to the bedroom. his eyes softened at the sight of his wife, concern rushing through his mind, "what happened?" he asked walking up beside the bed. she turned her head to face him allowing his eyes to rest upon her splotchy face and puffy red eyes.
guilt racked through the distressed girl's body as she stared at seth. "i lost the baby," she admitted. she could hardly look at her husband any longer, not wanting to bare watching his reaction. he was going to be so hurt.
"honey, why did you tell me earlier?" he asked, "i thought you said it was just your dress bothering you, that's why you went back up. was that- was that when you lost the baby?" it was clear he was trying to hold it together for her, but the tears pooling in his eyes told the whole story. he grabbed her hand sitting on the very edge of the bedside, not wanting to hurt her.
she nodded, "i couldn't tell you. you were so happy about the party and your brother's wedding, i didn't want to take it away from you. i know how much you wanted this baby," she explained. seth knew better than to keep pressuring her to talk about it. she was already overwhelmed. he ran his fingers through her silky black hair, caressing the side of her face with the motion. "t-these passed few weeks," she sniffled, taking a breath in between, "i-i couldn't help but wonder if they'd have your eyes or my hair? would they be a blend of us both?" she sobbed, "we'll never get to know!"
seth scooped her up in his arms, tightly holding her. his hand supported the back of her head as her face was nuzzled into his chest. "it's alright," he whispered, "shhh." her smaller hands gripped the sleeve of his shirt as she begged for any type of comfort. she felt so empty. maybe she'd only held the baby in her for six weeks, but she grew more and more attached every day.
"i'm so sorry," she choked out, "t-this is all my fault, i should've been more careful."
seth pulled her away, cupping her face in his hands. "sasha, you are not to blame. miscarriages happen all the time, it's one of the unfortunate parts of life," he looked intently into her eyes. he wasn't going to let her put this blame on her shoulders for the rest of eternity. she did all she could. "i'm not upset with you. i'm not disappointed in you. i'm not angry at you," he assured.
although his words were nice, they didn't help fill the void in her heart. she had doubts circling in her mind."what if we never have a baby again?" she asked, "y-you wanted a family so bad. w-we needed a family to take our spots on the throne."
"sasha," he sighed, "we will have a child one day. it wasn't our time, okay? for now i just want you to rest." he tucked her under the warm fur blankets and fluffed up her pillows before turning blowing out the candle and drawing the curtains closed. "sleep my love, i'll be back soon."
•
sasha's dress hugged her figure that had surprisingly not changed in the slightest since her pregnancy. the train of red fabric trailed behind her as he footsteps echoed through the castle halls. "i was told to meet you here?" sasha asked, arching an eyebrow at her husband who was stood in front of a window which was covered by the wooden panels.
"yes," he nodded. he gave her a small smile, sympathy filling in his heart for the girl who still had tears welled in her eyes. "do you remember when we used to sneak out of the castle at night as children?"
sasha nodded with a chuckle, "we'd go watch the fireflies and when they weren't out i would cry," she added.
"yes, but do you know what my favorite part of those nights were?" he asked, grabbing her hands. she looked up at the taller shaking her head. "being with you," he whispered, "we may have been six, seven, eight years old, but you always have had my heart. that's why i've done this."
he let go of her hands to open up the wooden panels of the window, revealing the night sky. he moved her closer, "look just above there," he directed, pointing out beside her.
sasha's eyes were filled with the sight of bright lights floating through the sky; lanterns that all rose upwards illuminating the darkness. she gasped, "seth, you did this for me?" she cried. he nodded, arms wrapping around her torso from behind as he kissed her temple.
they stood in silence, watching the gorgeous lights sail by the moon. "the world can be dark sasha. and uncertain and cruel. the only thing that really matters is that we face it together," he whispered. sasha couldn't help but cry. the familiar feeling of tears cascading down her cheeks returned, but this time it was for a good reason. her hands wrapped around his which were still tightly holding on to the front of her torso. she let her head lean back against his shoulder as he swayed the couple back and forth.
"can we just stay like this?" she asked. being a woman in this world wasn't easy. it was hard to feel comfortable when society was against you and for a person in sasha's power, love wasn't even a feeling she should know. kings and queens married, not for their love, but for their countries; to make alliances.
sasha and seth would be different though. seth vowed for that the day he asked her to marry him. they may had been engaged since the were six due to their parents. nobody really had a choice over who they married. but seth still posed their marriage as a question for sasha, making sure she didn't feel pressured into this, even if she was.
"i'd stay like this for eternity if it was what you wanted. sasha i know we are supposed to be a hundred percent devoted and loyal to our nations, but i don't care about that. not when you're here. i would put you before this country any day of my life."
maybe, just maybe, they'd change the world, become the most powerful leaders, have plenty of children to take their spots on the throne. but that wasn't to worry about for now.
for now they had each other.
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a/n sorry if this sUcKeD ✨
i'm trying but school starts soon and i'm literally gonna be sent into hell going back into that building. i give it a week before it shuts down.
