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*** sasha's eyes filled with horror as she watched the one person she's ever loved fall to the ground, blood spewing everywhere.
she screamed and dropped to her knees, shaking the young man but he was gone. forever.
he was only twenty one. he had his whole life ahead of him. he was just starting out as a musician. he was gonna make music for the world, put smiles on everyone's faces, and heal those who were hurt.
yet one man with one gun took it all away.
***
her body was shaking profusely as tears rapidly rolled down her flushed cheeks. a soothing hand from someone rubbed up and down her left arm but she couldn't tell who it was.
"sasha breath," they instructed but their words meant nothing. how was she supposed to breath when the love of her life wasn't.
she always said she'd be on the death bed with him. they were gonna get married and grow old together.
but it was too late for that.
"max wouldn't want to see you like this," they whispered. that only made her cry harder. she was disappointing her angel in heaven.
***
"i know how much he meant to you, but you can't hold on to him forever. let him go, let him fly away. he's safe now. safer than ever," bayley said sitting beside sasha on the bed. she slipped under the thick, white comforter and wrapped her arm around her best friend.
"it's so hard bay! a world without him is a world i never thought i'd be living in. i just want to hear his laugh again and see him smile. that's all. he meant everything to me!" she exclaimed, slightly frustrated that bayley wasn't understanding how she felt, "max was my soulmate. and now he's gone. i should be gone too, I should've died with him that day!"
"don't say that sasha! god kept you here for a reason! what do you think i would've done if i lost you!" bayley slapped her arm lightly and grabbed the remote from beside the bed.
she turned on the office but sasha wasn't paying attention to that. somehow she was blocking out michaels yelling and instead eyeing the guitar in the corner of the room.
his guitar
it had a purple strap because it reminded him of sasha. whenever he'd go out touring or go to shows he used that guitar and that guitar only.
sashas stare must've lasted a while because bayley was fast asleep when she looked back over at her. quietly, she snuck out of bed and grabbed the guitar, admiring each feature of it.
holding it made her smile.
but it also made her cry.
she walked to the balcony, sliding the screen closed behind her and sat criss cross on the love sack. she began to softly strum the guitar, whilst humming words from one of his favorite songs to sing her.
hey, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel. love your imperfections every angle. tomorrow comes and goes before you know. so i just had to let you know.
***
4 years later
"sasha. i don't think we can do this anymore. i love you and im trying so hard to support you and keep you held together. but i don't think i can do that," seth sighed. sasha nodded her head. she knew this conversation was coming. in fact she'd played it out so many times in her head, sometimes it felt real. but right now it didn't just feel real. it was real.
"im sorry," sasha sniffled. seth caught a tear rolling down sashas face with his thumb and flicked it off. it became a habit of his. she cried so much. so so much. he just wanted her to be happy, but he obviously wasn't fulfilling his job of making her happy. he wasn't her happiness. max was.
"no baby, don't apologize. you did nothing wrong, love. its just life," seths words were soothing yet destroying.
she shook her head, taking in a large amount of air, "it is my fault. i obviously wasn't ready for another relationship yet, but i still decided to jump into one with you. i understand that you can't do this anymore, im breaking you as i break, i get it," her voice was shaky, cracking ever so often, "thank you. for everything. you didn't have to put up with me for so long, really," she chuckled. yet none of this was funny. none.
"sash, you know im always here for you, we can be friends. i don't want you to be alone, but if i keep falling i-
"no seth i get it. im sorry for hurting you," she whispered.
"stay strong angel," he breathed, "i'll love you forever,"
***
a/n sad cuz would it really be me if it were happy? nope cuz i only manage to think of sad things.
also I wrote this when sasha had purple hair...yeah that long ago. that's why the guitar strap was purple not blue and i really don't feel like changing it.
