Erratic

Erratic: Chapter 23: Lies.

||MACY||

I made my decision. I no one to wait for... Chase likes someone else and will probably ask her when he wants to or he's probably going to dance with her. I don't know, I don't know what Chase will do. I'm still hoping that the girl is myself but there's so little possibility on that happening. Besides, I made my decision, I'm going to say 'Yes' to Beau today but I am clarifying that I'm only going to prom as his date and it doesn't mean anything to me. I'm going to tell him that in a less harsh way though... I'm not sure how but I'll just see how it goes. I walked to the Year 11 and 12 block and Beau immediately spotted me and made his way over to me. Since I was with Miguel, Miguel immediately excused himself to go somewhere else.

"Good morning Macy." Beau greeted.

"Morning."

"Did you hear that Chase asked Blaire as his date?" He asked as he pointedly looked at a direction. I followed his gaze and saw Chase and Blaire hugging.

Wow. Fuck him! Fuck Chase! Fuck his liar self! He fucking lied! 'Oh It's not Blaire, I will never ask her' blahblahblah. What other lies did he feed me yesterday? Did he cry for fun? HUH? URGH! HE IS SUCH A LIAR! I hate him! I hate Harrison Chase Alberg! I hate the fact that he lied to me! I hate the fact that it hurts me so much! URGH! I HATE HIM! STUPID ME FOR STILL HAVING THAT LITTLE HOPE THAT THE GIRL THAT HE LIKES IS MYSELF. STUPID ME FOR BELIEVING HIS LIES! HE'S A GOOD ACTOR THOUGH. I gave you advice; I was so real and sincere when we had our conversation and what were you doing? You were lying your ass of! URGH! Chase! I hate that I still like you even through this! I HATE THIS!

"So... what's your answer?" Beau asked straight to the point.

"Uh.. Yes. I have to clarify something though... I'm just going to prom as your date, that's all... Beau, I'm sorry but I have strong feelings -really strong feelings for someone. I'm afraid that I can't feel the same towards you. I like you as a friend, heck! I love you as a friend, as a childhood best friend, or as my third brother but... I'm really sorry... I can't love you as my lover. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry." I muttered quietly looking down, I could already tell that my sadness and the pain is evident in my face so I tried to hide it by looking down.

"Macy look at me." Beau said as he held my chin to look up at him, "Macy, I understand... at least I get to experience being your date to prom eh? Just know... Just know that I'll always be here. I know you love Chase-" 

"I don't love him." 

"You do Macy. I can see it. I can see that you're in pain because of Chase right now. You're not entitled to feel jealous towards Blaire because you're not his girlfriend but you still feel hurt because you love him. He could make the biggest smile appear on your face but he could also hurt you so much. I know you love Chase Macy, and if he ever messes up. Just know that I'm here. I'll always wait for you." Beau says as I try to keep my tears in.

"I'm still sure that I don't love Chase. Anyway, I'm really sorry but I have to go. I'm sorry again." I muttered silently as I made my way to the girls' bathroom.

As I made my way over to the bathroom, my tears blurred my eyes which made me stumbled upon someone.

"Hi Macy, Good morning...Macy? Macy, what happened?" Chase asked as he held my shoulders with his eyes filled with concern when he saw that I have tears streaming down my face.

"Drop the concerned act. You fucking liar." I muttered.

"What? What did I do?" Chase asked confused.

"Fuck you." was the last statement that I said as I dashed off to the bathroom.

Chase, why do you do this? Why do act all concerned when I merely nothing but a friend to you? Why do you do this? Don't you realise that you're confusing my feelings? Are you trying to play with my feelings? One minute I feel like you're sending me messages that you like me but the next you'd be all over Blaire or the girl that you said you like. I don't understand this game Chase! Don't make me play with you because I'm seriously confused and I feel so much pain whilst playing this game. Please don't do this to me.