Blackout || Sapnap x Reader (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 11

Back and forth, I paced around my room. I had been walking in circles for who knows how long, simply debating with my inner thoughts.

After that night at Nicks house, things have been off around him. Im not sure if he noticed as I tried my best to cover things up.

But I think I may or may not have a crush on him.. I mean, I haven't had a crush in so long.. is it a crush? Am I in love with him? Am I just going through some weird hormonal shit?? I have no idea, but all I knew was that I was attracted to him either way.

I thought telling Carter would be a good idea but after I thought about it, he would probably just tease me about it anyways.

I mean, I could tell him? Carter's been in more relationships than I have.. maybe he could actually help..

'I'll do it after dinner. No- wait, later tonight before I go to bed.. Ugh! Just stop putting it off!!!'

I continued arguing with my inner thoughts for a while.

"Y/NN!!! DINNERS READYY!!" Carter called out.

This was perfect, we could talk about it over dinner!

I took a deep breath and went out.

Carter could instantly tell I was acting off. It's scary how easily he can tell..

"What happened." He asked simply.

"I.. uh.."

"I need some... love... advice.." I thought it would be better if I had just spat it out, get it over with..

Carter gasped in glee, almost dropping all the plates and cutlery he was holding.

"Oh my god! Who is it?! Is it that Nick guy!? Oh my god, my sweet Y/N finally has a crush!!" he squealed.

"ehehh..hehehh.."

"And here I was thinking you'd never stretch your wings and fly..!"

"gee.. thanks, buddy.." I knew he was joking but I couldn't help but be a little hurt.

"But yeah, it is Nick actually.." Carter nodded.

"And that's the thing! I can't even tell if it's a crush or not! Is it a crush? Am I in love with him?? I just don't know!!" I raised my voice. I pretty much repeated everything I was thinking to myself earlier. I think I just ended out ranting because I didn't know what I was feeling.

We continued to eat our dinner of honey mustard chicken while Carter gave me tips. He gave me ideas of how to find out is Nick liked me back, how to tell if I actually liked him.

I was sure that I felt something for him, I just had no idea how serious it was or not. I had no way of telling.

But I guess the only way for me to find out would be to confront him about it..

I would be able to tell if he liked me, if I liked him. Just like Carter had said, I just need to do it.

I later got a message from Nick. He said that he was working overtime to clean and offered for me to come and stop by.

This had to be my chance. Just him and I in a quiet empty café. This was the perfect set up to confess!!.

I agreed to meet him in 15 minutes.

I then booked it out to Carters room to tell him the news and we rushed to prepare myself for the moment that could change my life forever.

Wait... forever?

This confession could completely change my life whether it be for the better, or the worse...

Was I prepared to actually do this? Was it worth confessing with a chance that I would get rejected..?

Carter tried to keep my spirits up and not change my mind.

I left to the bathroom by myself as I started to feel lightheaded.

I felt dizzy and nauseous, I was nervous...

I looked at myself in the reflection of the mirror.

Ever since I had met Nick at that café when I was looking for shelter from the rain, I had always felt like we were such good friends.. when did it change? When the flip switch to the point that I started to fall for him?

I needed to confess to him.

But I just couldn't..

I can't do that to myself.. what if things go wrong? What if he doesn't feel the same way?? Then I would've ruined our friendship and become heartbroken..

I started to go panic.

I needed to get rid of this crush.

To convince myself that I didn't need him.

That I wasn't in love with him.

Or even had a crush.

"I don't like Nick."

"I don't have a crush on him."

"I could never see him that way."

"I don't like Nick..."

"I don't have a crush on him..."

"I could NEVER see him that way..."

But then I heard a knock at the bathroom door.

I instantly shut my mouth and shakily made my way over, not opening it yet.

"yes..?" I mumbled out quietly..

"Hey Y/N, I have a surprise for you.." Carter announced in a sing-song tone.

I could only see this going badly from now on.

My head was still spinning and my stomach still turning. I just want to go to sleep..