Bad Influence

•Chapter Twelve (2/2)•

It felt like hours before they left. Though Gon couldn't be upset at that.

It was his fault Killua was in that bed in the first place.

Gon stepped in the room. The sound of the heart monitor adding on even more guilt than before.

He gulped weakly and tried to smile.

It was what his Aunt told him to do when she was in the hospital.

Stating that she didn't want to see him frowning when she died.

Gon walked over to the bed. His eyes looking at the unconscious male.

Bruises littered Killua's fragile body.

Gon wanted to run. To hide. To be left alone.

Everyone he knew seemed to always leave. Whether they wanted to or not.

He sat in the chair next to the bed. Taking the cold pale hand into his own. Rubbing the back of the lifeless hand with his thumb.

Tears began to trickle down the honey brown eyes. Thoughts began to clutter his mind.

Though none of the thoughts were good.

Honestly, Gon didn't know why he felt so guilty. Okay maybe he did but besides the point.

The point is, since his father came back, he began to believe that bad things should happen to him.

To him. But to him it feels like bad things happen to the people around him.

He hates it. And well, it's not hard to believe that he hates it.

Anyone would hate it if everything bad happens to the ones that means a lot to you.

——

He doesn't know when he fell asleep but he was pretty pissed when he was woken up.

The ringing of his cellphone angered him the longer it went on. He nearly threw the poor phone at the wall when he saw the caller ID.

'Ging'

He answered the phone, tiredly mumbling a low 'hello' as his father began to yell.

Going on about god knows what. Gon only heard: 'next time you don't bring your ass home tell someone...' Gon didn't care to listen to the rest as he held the phone away from his ear.

Looking over at Killua, he was undoubtedly breathtaking.

'Damnit. Who thinks that about someone in a coma?' He groaned when he heard that his shitty father was still yelling into the phone.

Gon looked back at the boy. Smiling to himself.

The happiness he felt turned to anger. Goodness.

He never realized how horribly he treated Killua. Though they hadn't known each other very long, only for a short two months maybe.

He knew that he should've done better.

That his past doesn't make an excuse for him to act like a dick.

Because he was totally acting like a dick. Whether he liked it or not.

He knew the pain he caused the boy.

He knew how much that no matter how many times he apologized it wouldn't change anything.

All he can do is change for the future. That's if Killua wants anything to do with him when he wakes up.

Gon wouldn't even be mad if he hated his guts. He'd simply apologize again and leave the boy alone.

But deep down he knew he wouldn't be able to just leave him alone.

No of course not.

Though, if it made Killua happy then so be it. As long as he was happy. That's all that matters.

"Gon! Are you even listening to me?!"

"No" he could see Gings face growing even more red.

Oh how he wishes he could see Gings dumb face. But that meant leaving Killua so he shrugged it off.

"Are you down yelling? Your voice is annoying and there's other things I'd rather be doing than listen to you shouting like a child"

A smirk pulled at his lips when he heard his father continue to yell.

Shortly after Ging hung up. Gon would be lying if he said he wasn't amused with how their conversation went.

Or how Gings yelling session went and how Gon's mixed emotions went.

But the more Gon thought about his situation with Killua he wondered.

How did Killua feel about him? Like did he hate his guts? Did he only tolerate Gon because he was bored?

Though with the last one Gon realized that was more of him thing.

Anyways, now he was just rambling.

The thought was consistent.

If he had asked sooner he would've gotten an answer. But he was afraid of (what he thought was the truth) the truth.

So he didn't. He let the persistent thought buzz around in his mind longer than it should have.

Gon didn't know his feelings for the blue eyed boy. He just knew he liked being around him.

He liked hearing the boy ramble about god knows what. Liked the way his nose scrunched up in disgust.

The way his ears would burn whenever Gon said something risky.

The glare he would give Rits. (not me forgetting how to spell her name😭)

Was this love? Hell no. It was just a bunch of things Gon noticed about Killua and took a liking too.

Even if it was love, who would love someone like Gon back? Honestly, it feels like whoever he cares about gets hurt.

Like he's a curse. Who would love a curse?

Though that was just Gon projecting his feelings onto the truth.

He knows his rights and his wrongs.

How every bad choice he makes effects people.

Like the night of the dance. If he could go back he would.

He would do things differently. I don't know, maybe ask Killua respectfully, maybe earn his trust the right way.

But now, it was too late for any of it.

And he's just gonna have to live with the current reality.

Now, I've said this before on my message board. There is a reason why I haven't posted. Please don't ask me to post a chapter. I begin to feel forced to post.

Also I'm not just sitting here being lazy. I have things going on mentally and some family matters. If that came off as rude I apologize.

But it's a stressful time for me, so I'd appreciate it if you just bared with me.

That sounds hard I know. But! It'll come together in the end.

Anyways.
Chapter Finished:10-17-2020
Chapter Published:10-17-2020
Word Count:1058
Later Loves😌❤️