Desire Of The Soul

Chapter 21

Marissa finally woke up. It had been almost 2 weeks since she had been in the sleep induced coma. She was finally out of that wretched wheelchair and could walk, but would be very broke because of harm she inflicted upon herself. I lean against the doorframe of her room as her eyes flutter and she looks at me and starts to cry. I sighed going over to her as she muttered I'm sorry and I love you's.

I wanted to be as far away from my team as possible because Morgan and Prentiss blamed me for Marissa harming herself. JJ has been very moodly lately. When she's not crying she's so bitchy. To top it all off Hitch and Prentiss make me want to barf, yeah I like seeing both of them happy, Hotch more so because he hasn't been the same since Foyet killed Hayley. I looked down at Marissa and knew that this was my fault, I didn't protect her like I said I would. I didn't want to hurt her, but she's been relapsing a lot more since she met me and I feel so bad. She just cried and finally looked up at me.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry."

"Its not your falut, but I know I'm just going to hurt you more by doing this but its my fault you've been relapsing and you're better off without me anyway. I love you." I whisper and kiss her cheek before leaving. I didn't want to see her again. I got back to the room and asked Garcia to see if the plane was available. It was. So I got on it and went Quantico. Away from Marissa and all my troubles.

Running was never the right thing to do because your problems always caught up with you, I knew this much, I need to leave her she was better without me. I drove back to my apartment and sat tiredly on the front step. I looked around remembering everything, what was once never once again.

I felt something warm roll down my cheek. I wiped it away and stood up fumbling in my pocket for my keys. Once I found them I opened the door. It was so quiet with only me here, but I had my books and that's all that really mattered.
JJ'S POV

I was angry at Spencer, but relieved that we caught the woman killing everyone and threatening federal agents. We boarded the plane but everything felt different, nothing was the same. It was right without Spencer. Marissa looked about ready to cry, I wouldn't be surprised if she did, she's been through a lot and for Spencer to leave her like that. He thought it was for the best, but I wasn't so sure and I needed to talk to him and figure some things out. Like why he left Marissa or why he left in the middle of a case. I wasted no time when the plane landed, I drove like hell top Reid's place and banged furiously on the door. He opened it, his eyes were bloodshot and when he spoke his voice cracked.

"Oh its you."

"Spence, why?" I say softening when I saw how much of a train wreck he was.

"It was my fault, the case, her relapse, everything I do I mess up and I loved her to much to watch her go through this so I did what was best." I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Spence, she's a freaking wreck, she's crying all the time, she thought you would never leave her. She was crushed when Garcia told her that you left. You didn't come to work which upset her into a fit in the middle of the office, when she's at my house. She stays in her room and when she does come its so she can watch Glee or The Office and to watch Henry. She stays in bed, she's been watching Dirty Dancing and reading a lot of sad romance novels and food. She's been eating more which is good but she doesn't eat the right things. She needs you and you need her." I finish looking at him. "So here's the deal you will come to work tomorrow and you will sit in my office for 2-3 hours and talk to her, I don't care if you two are yelling profanities at each other as long as you get everything straightened out." He nods.

"I'll be there and I'll try to explain to her why I did what I did. Anything else you want to say?" He rolls his eyes.

"Calm down. Your hurting and I get that but you're a total ass." I smile and he looks at me. I turn on my heels and go back to the car.
Spencer's POV.

After JJ came to visit, I lied in bed for hours waiting for 6:00 to come so I could get to work then come here and sleep. I finally fell asleep only to be woke what felt like minutes was 4 hours by my alarm clock. I got out of the empty bed and got dressed.

I drove to the BAU. It was still pretty quiet inside, when I stepped out of the elevator it was quiet and everyone kind of looked away. I went and knocked on JJ's door. She opens it and pulls me in. She smile then adds "Marissa will be here at 8." I sit down and read until the door opens again, JJ gets up and leaves. She locks it. I look up and see a fuming Marissa glaring at me.

"I'm sorry." I mutter.

"You should be, you dumped me." She sighs.

"I didn't dump you. I just said its my fault you're relasping and you'd be better without me." She let out a breath.

"Why would you think that?" She looks likes she's going to cry at any moment.

"You had only started relapsing when you met me and I knew I wasn't helping the problem, I'm not good for you and neither is this job." I sigh, but she walks over to me and stands right in front of me.

"Listen here Reid, your a dumbass and even though you think you're bad for me and who knows you might be, but I'm not willing to give this up and I know you aren't either. You're just as much as a mess as I am."

"How do you know I'm a mess?" She smiles weakly and I know that I'm a jackass but I want to kiss her. Reading my mind she grabs me and pulls me into her kissing me.

"I know you." She says giggling against my lips. I kiss her back, she smiles never breaking the kiss. She just kisses me harder and with more power and passion. I felt this fuzzy feeling when we kissed like that and it was sorta like Fireworks. We continued to kiss until a knock on the door made us pull away.

"No yelling. So I guess you two worked everything out." JJ sighs and Marissa smiles before yelling

"Ugh I fucking hate you, you left me you jackass. I don't know what I see in you." JJ sighs again before locking the door again. Marissa smiles and presses her lips to mine again.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask her pulling back.

"What do you mean?" She smiles.

"You just called me a jackass so JJ would leave us alone. You could I have told her to leave us alone, instead of insulting me." I act wounded.

"Awe poor baby, I'm so sorry. Let me make it better." She smiles again and I pull her back into me connecting our lips again. The door burst open and there stands Morgan and JJ.

"So cute." Garica says appearing behind the two.

"Reid you and Morgan are going to interview some killer." JJ says smiling dragging Marissa down towards the elevators. Leaving me with Morgan.

"Come on kid." Morgan says and we walk down towards a the parking lot. We drive for what seems like hours, I've been staring out the window for the better part of the ride.

"C'mon kid don't be that way. I know I was rude and a total jackass but you can't ignore me." I turn and look at him.

"Yeah you were all those things and I was angry at you for blaming me for not 'protecting her' she relapsed and it wasn't my falut or so she says." I sigh and turn back to the window. Staring at desert fields and grasslands. The car pulls into a plain building with nothing on it, but something was there or we wouldn't be here.

"Why are we here?" I ask getting out of the car after Morgan does. There was a bomming noise which caused me to jump. An older man appears and hugs Morgan.

"What with the toothpick with the gun over there?" The man asks.

"Kid, meet someone who I've know for a long time. He runs this place. Meet Johnathan Redish." I smile weakly. "Johnathon this is Spencer Reid." The mans face is raised in curiosity.

"Curiosity killed the cat." Is all I saw before looking at Morgan.

Sorry if it sucked, I'm writing another chapter now..