The first couple weeks of boot are full of medical and dental exams, and if you need a procedure, you get it done right there. Tons of guys had their wisdom teeth pulled, and we had one guy come back right before lights out with his mouth full of gauze and was loopy from the drugs.
Our D.I called us all to the center of the room, formed us up, and then told us to sit Indian style on the floor, and that Recruit Toothy was going to tell us a bed time story.
He pulled up a chair for Toothy, and then told him to tell us the story of the battle of the Monitor and Merrimack. Toothy mumbled that he didn't know the story, so the D.I told him to just make it up, and for every fact that he got right, we'd get to sleep an extra 5 minutes in the morning.
What followed was like a live episode of Drunk History, minus any factual accuracy. As best as Toothy could recall, the Monitor was British, the Merrimack was "Old Ironsides", and that in the end, "they shot the crap out of each other and everyone died. The end."
We were all dying laughing, but the D.I sat there stone faced. After Toothy was done, D.I just stood up and said "That is exactly how it happened. Well done," got up, turned off the lights, and walked out.
YOU ARE READING
Mildly entertaining military stories.
HumorA collection of short yet wild military stories. None of these are mine. These stories, most of them supposedly humorous, are supposed to give light to what it's like to be a service member, and, hopefully, prevent you from joining as any vet worth...
