Things waaaayyy too small to be left alone.
/Getting Recycled
"I'm going to recycle you so far you'll be at your first DEP meeting by the time I get through with you!"
/Late night booting
Early morning piss tests before PT lmao. So annoying but the reactions of some of the recruits who got hammered yesterday were priceless.
/Flashed
"Talking to the new guys makes me want to throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptic children."
/I can't hear you
Pvt: Uhh sarge I lost my weapon
Sgt: Let me take my sunglasses off to hear what the fuck you just said
*takes them off*
Now explain your worthless ass
True story. There's witnesses.
/Bein real
"Less than a year after you get out of the military, you'll be homeless"
/Shot down
"You look like you should have joined the air force, you mouth breather"
/Just call him fat
"People who are good at PT don't necessarily have your uh... how do I say it... build you know?"
/Bilingual
Some senior nco to another: "Let me say it in Spanish: No."
/Road paperwork
While doing road guard procedures training: "don't get hit by a car, but you'd make my life a lot easier if you did."
/What did you do devil dog?
Saw a E7 make a PFC sweep rain during a rainstorm
/It's a trap
Some guy left a DFAC with an ice cream cone in AIT. Plt sgt made him push and eat the ice cream cone on each push up
/Physics
Recruit was told to go stand in the corner and practice falling down
/Gone vegan
Had a platoon sergeant give a plastic fork to a recruit and go out and rake and pick up leaves with it.
YOU ARE READING
Mildly entertaining military stories.
MizahA collection of short yet wild military stories. None of these are mine. These stories, most of them supposedly humorous, are supposed to give light to what it's like to be a service member, and, hopefully, prevent you from joining as any vet worth...
