Mildly entertaining military stories.

Big homo

Our Terp broke his dick.

So in 2008 when I was at FoB Shank as a mentor on a PMT team known as Team Raven, one day we're getting ready to roll out on a mission in the Logar Province in Afghanistan.

We went to grab our terp (interpreter) and he was holding his dick saying he can't cum because he hurt himself, we were like 'what the fuck do you mean?'

He says he had a boner in his sleep and turned into the wall and broke his dick, we're all confused like 'what do you mean you broke your dick?' he moves his hands and his dick is bent in like a 90 degree angle and we're all like 'wtf'

so we call our medic and he's all like 'what the fuck dude who we're you playing butt darts with because that's not from just turning over at a wall.'

Now the terp's all embarrassed and he's denying that he was fucking a dude in the butt, but we all know he was, it's all getting awkward and now we're realizing we're not making our hit times and the 101st is getting all pissy

cause we haven't left and we're fucking with their time lines and we're trying to explain to their higher up what's going on and they aren't getting that our only terp

broke his dick butt fucking one of the ANP guys and now we have no terp to complete the mission which means that the mission can't go on and we need medivac to get our terp's dick fixed.

Yeah this was a shit show but we managed to finally get our terp a fucking medivac out of FoB Shank to get his penis fixed, and he came back to us after he was cleared, he never admitted if he was playing butt darts or not.