One thing that everyone must know about Drill Sergeants is that they are masters of wordplay. I had one who loved making bets with any soldier he could. They were often impossible to win, such as offering donuts if half the platoon scored 300 on the next PT test when the average was only about 200.
But we were determined to win one of his bets before we graduated, so we took every offer he gave. One such bet he made, and I quote, "If we have no failures on our next PT test, I will personally make you all chocolate chip cookies." Eager to prove ourselves and get something other than that crappy DFAC food for a change, we quickly agreed.
Lo and behold the day after our test he calls the platoon into the bay as he grinned evilly from ear to ear. He revealed with delight that we had no failures, and that we had won the bet. "So, I guess that means I'm making you chocolate chip cookies, get into PTs and report to the PT field in 5 mikes."
We looked at each other in confusion, then looked to him for clarification, but he had already disappeared. We form up on the PT field, which was a massive pit field with rubber chips. DS walks outside, still devilishly grinning, which was when we knew we had been duped.
He puts us at attention, and walks around the side of the building for a minute, returning dragging a garden hose. He proceeds to spray the platoon as we stood helplessly at attention, soaking everyone from head to toe. Once everyone wad soaking and miserable we low crawled the PT field, up and back, up and back, on our stomachs, on our backs, on our sides, getting thoroughly covered in the rubber chips.
Our Commander walked out and inquired what was going on. Without skipping a beat, D.S replies, "Well sir, we made a bet that if there were no PT failures I would make them chocolate chip cookies, so now they're chocolate chip cookies." The C.O stood and laughed for several minutes before calling out Top and a few other Drill Sergeants to enjoy the sight of 50 soaking wet privates miserably dragging themselves across the field.
That was when we learned that you never, ever truly win a bet with a Drill Sergeant.
YOU ARE READING
Mildly entertaining military stories.
HumorA collection of short yet wild military stories. None of these are mine. These stories, most of them supposedly humorous, are supposed to give light to what it's like to be a service member, and, hopefully, prevent you from joining as any vet worth...
