Cinderella? NO

ABDALLAH

"She's black." I said to dad, he was sitting cross legged, watching television and reading a newspaper. I don't know which one he was concentrating more on, but the heading of the newspaper caught my eyes, it reads 'An Emirati Police Officer was stabbed yesterday by a Nigerian Man'. That's shocking and it feels like an answer to my istikhara, I felt like the Khaleej Times was telling me to abort mission but I had already said it. Thank God I didn't mention her nationality. Since few weeks back I wasn't myself; I have been grooming myself to tell dad about 'her'. I did istikhara but refused to do istishara because nobody would understand why I love her, what she means to me and how I don't care losing my crown to be with her. After my confession, I was expecting a 'finally you have admitted you are mad' or 'get out of here son' but dad looked at me and laughed which is also bad because that laugh wasn't genuine at all. I added "Dad the girl I love is black." he kept on laughing "Dad it is not funny and I was expecting you to be mad but you are laughing, hamdillah." (though I don't mean it) I smiled very wide. "You know son, nothing shocks me or surprises me now, everything is possible." he didn't look at me even once "I don't understand." I said and he raised his head "Look at America son, Donald Trump won and women voted for him, son do you know that when a woman was asked why she voted for Trump when he clearly stated that he doesn't like women what she said? she said "actions not words", so son you can't surprise me with your 'love story' please go and freshen up. Our elders say growing up in the west is a disease. Now I agree with them. You are mad son." I don't know why he keeps calling me son, I guessed he's in a good mood. Good, that I brought up Maryam in this mood. I would have regretted it, but I won't back out. I was speechless and about to turn when he added "And you are not on drugs, are you? Robin won't hide anything from me. So go." I just left 'again', he won 'again.' My dad always has this power over me that makes me speechless and paralyse in front of him. Among all the 20 of us... (wait, not 20. I lost count in 2014). Among all his kids I am the only one he tries listening to (never listened though), he thinks we are spoilt and irresponsible. I know my dad won't regret crowning Robin as his successor. All his sons hate the crown except Mahmood but dad would never crown him. My dad has so many kids but all of them have left and are living in various parts of the world with their spouses but bring their kids to the palace after 3 years of age. So the palace is filled with kids without parents (just like orphanage) but I love them so much and just because of them, I love the palace. I am the 1st born and it is tradition for me to stay (though dad hates my presence near him). Mahmood lives in the palace too, because mum wants him to and dad wouldn't let him go. Not because dad loves him but because Mahmood creates trouble wherever he goes, so dad says, "It's better he creates them here, we can cover them up".  My dad is intimidating, scary (because he rarely smiles), annoying, egoistic (what do you expect, his great grandfather was a king, his father before that, his grandfather, his father, all were powerful rulers) but he's my dad for Christ sake (Which Christ?... Ya Allah help me). So Robin keeps my dad updated about my life, I can't even get mad at him because I can't even save myself from dad talk less of an employee. I just want everything to work out. Time to meet mum.
I guess it's not yet time. It's 3am already and that headline about that Nigerian man never left me for a minute. It's been more than a month since sleep boycotted me as a result of thinking how to tell people about 'her', I have attempted today and I have to continue before dad brings all the doctors in Gulf for me. By the time I am done I can take the ICU admission (dad's wish) with no regrets since I have done the 1st stage (marrying her will be the final stage). Just telling my family about her is taking my sleep, my peace of mind, my appetite, my thoughts and sometimes my breaths (when I told dad and later saw that headline).  That headline is a major obstacle for me now. I remember my mum's line "Do not let negative people stop you from achieving your goal". But there I was thinking about a stupid headline (Did I just say stupid? it is not stupid because it has the power to determine my destiny. Because dad has already written it). How do I tell my dad she is Nigerian? Let me just go straight to the point, let's remove she's black, African, 'ordinary' (although there is nothing ordinary about amazing), she covers completely (dad is going to think she's in boko haram or worse), hamdillah she's a Muslim, though it's not going to add anything to her points (points she doesn't have or won't ever have). Let me just say she is Nigerian and no princess....my alarm beeped cutting off my thoughts, it's 4am; time for tahajjud. I always set an alarm, not to wake me from sleep but from the deep thoughts of her and how to convince my family (dad) to let me be with her. My family are strict and lovely (I lied), but when dad says "no sleep today", they'll just ask Robin for more caffeine in their coffee. By convincing dad (I don't picture it but I hope it happens), I know it's an affirmative from the rest of the family members. Time to meet mum.