Cinderella? NO

MARYAM

I think I am going crazy, sometimes I feel like someone is following me and I bump into so many weird people asking about my life. Its normal in Saudi Arabia when an old woman asks the country you are from, or your name but here the people are weird. Some are in suits and some young. I stopped telling people and changed all my routes. But I still feel a shadow following me. I decided to enter Binsena (a pharmacy) and hit someone at the door. "A'uzubillah" I shouted, and its Abdallah. "Maryam! What are you doing here? I am sorry if I scared you. Salam alaikum" he looks so hot MashaAllah. Gaze Maryam, gaze. "Wa'alikumussalam wa rahmatullah, I'm so sorry I feel like someone is following me so I got scared when I bumped into you. How are you? Long-time" I didn't look at him in the face "Hamdillah, its late and you are out again. He bent his face a little trying to catch my gaze "Yeah I just came out to get some air then I came in to get some pain killers. Hope you are fine, what are you doing here, are you ill?" I asked and pretended to be searching my bag "To get some pain killers" he smiled. how can someone, late at night, look so good? How dare he! Time to get a serious topic "I met Imran days back but you've hidden." I gathered the courage to look at him. And subhanAllah he looked damn hot and fresh. Maybe he did facials. In the night? Why would he do that in the night? Maybe he just shaved. Or maybe he did it for his wife. No! but wait, he's old. I mean not 40 years old but he looks in his late 20s. What if he's married! No ways! But Saleh in my class is married and he's just 23. God no! please. I need to find out. I was thinking all sort of stuff. He brought me back "Oh good. What did he say? I mean, sorry I just, sorry" he stammered. Is not only you, everyone is curious about my conversation with him that night. "It's okay really, we just talked and I told him about things I never shared with grandma." I was looking in the distance and trying to figure out how to ask his marital status. "Maryam can I..." he started talking but I cut him off when I saw a kitten by the road "aww look at that" I rushed out of the pharmacy and he followed me. I brought out a leftover sausage from my bag and fed the poor thing. I was almost in tears because her fur is dirty and she looks too skinny, I felt a tear running down my chin. I quickly cleaned it but Abdallah already saw it. He squatted like I did and asked why I was in tears. "They don't allow pets in our dorms and if I leave her here, she's going to die. I won't find her here if I come back tomorrow Abdallah I don't know what to do. Suggest something." I pleaded with tears in my eyes "I promise to take care of her forever" he took her in his arms. "Your wife won't mind? I mean your kids?" And the award for the creepiest person goes to Maryam! I felt so embarrassed. He laughed and said "Wife? Kids? Did Imran tell you I am married?" he was laughing so hard and I had never seen him look so beautiful. "No! I just thought so...I mean... don't stammer I mean you locals marry at a young age. A boy in my class is my age and he's married." I was counting my fingers to confirm if there were five. "And I look old right?" He smiled so beautifully. Astagfirullah, I need to leave before I commit a sin or maybe I did. Allah maaf karo(Allah forgive me). "I am not married Maryam." he cleared my doubt and kept staring at me with a serious face. He's also weird like his friend, but he's not bipolar or mean. He's sweet. Astagfirullah Maryam, go away. I tried to dodge his gaze but he was just looking at me. The promise he made to me shook me.  I never made a request to a human being and got it fulfilled right away. With Abdallah, I feel safe. "What is the problem?" I pulled myself together and frowned "I want to talk to you about something." he said in Arabic accent, I thought he doesn't have it "Okay...should we sit?" I suggested, though all I wanted was to leave "No its okay, it won't take long" he said in his normal British with a pinch of American accent. I gave him a faint smile because he looks guilty and confused and lack words. I can see that he's trying to pull himself together and say whatever he wanted to say. "I love you..." he confessed in British accent and sighed. I lost my balance a little and held myself "I mean...I like you. No. what I feel for you is more than that. Maryam I wanna be with you. Whenever I see you, I feel good. And subhanllah I think about you...trust me I tried to not think about you, but failed. You are always in my head and I did istikhara before coming here..." he said in American accent, while I looked puzzled "I know it is too much for you to consume but...I'm sorry" he finally stopped looking at his shoes and looked at me "I love you for the sake of Allah Maryam. I know you don't like me but I want you to like me and marry me. I don't want much, I just want you to teach my kids what you know; your kindness, your calmness, your religiosity, I want our kids to know it all. I want to wake up with you, see you pray by my side and teach me also what you know. I don't have anything to offer but I promise to take care of you and love you here and in Jannah. That's all I have" He paused and looked at me. I don't know the look on my face but I can guess it. You know the snapchat filter that has a wide mouth and round eyes. I know I looked exactly like that or worse "Maryam I know it is hard for you to consume and I don't need an answer now. You should take your time and think about it. I'll wait for you as long as I breath. Just don't tell me no, tell me you'll think about it, tell me to wait." he finally stopped and took breaths. I just stood and looked. For few seconds, I felt good about his confession. Which is weird but I never looked at him like someone I can be with. I like him, yes. Oh I do? Not the like of love but he's calm and different and I even pray for him and praise him but I never imagined myself loving him or being his wife. I never looked at him that way. I don't know if I should tell him this long story but it's too long and doesn't make sense. Honestly I don't have anything better to say so I just turned and left. I need to think but I can't tell him that, I can't give him any false hope and I don't even know what to say.
I called Zahra to my room. "Zahra something has happened and I don't know what to do" she just looked on waiting for me to continue "Abdallah Zahra, he loves me." I closed my eyes after saying that and continued "Help me Zahra I don't know what to say to him." I pleaded with her "What about you, you don't love him?" she asked calmly "I don't know what I feel, wait you don't seem shocked at all" I opened my eyes widely "Maryam, the way he looks at you, the way he loses words in your presence, all his actions show that he likes you. I realised that the 1st day we met; at the orphanage. The other day when Imran called me at his house and you asked what we talked about, it was about you and Abdallah. Abdallah loves you but, Maryam he didn't tell you anything after his feelings for you?" she asked "He didn't. He just told me to think about it and not say no. What else do you want him to tell me?" I was confused. "No chill. What about you? What do you feel Maryam? You get excited when I pray for him, you sing praises for him. You smile when you see him. I'm afraid you like him too." she said in a pitiful tone "Do I?" I looked on. She sighed and came closer to me. "Maryam I want you to pray very hard before you give him any answer. You guys have differences you can't even imagine. You people have differences you are yet to know, until you announce your love to the world then you'll realise the gap between you guys. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy and not suffer." She said. I nodded my head, though some of her words didn't make sense.