Not Without You: Book 1 (Canon-Divergence Stucky Fix-it-Fic)

Twenty-One

Being materialized for the last time -- Steve hoped -- he was glad to be back at the facility. Especially with how nauseous and dizzy the time traveling had made him. The only thing that made him feel better was looking around at everyone else gathering themselves and knowing that they were safe. They succeeded.

"Did we get them all?" Bruce asked, regaining his own balance.

Rhodey seemed shocked, "You telling me this'll actually work?"

Excited murmurs broke out amongst them and Steve happily turned to look at Nat. Only, she wasn't there. Instead, Clint was holding back tears and Steve's stomach dropped. No, Steve swallowed thickly, she can't be -- He couldn't even think about what could've happened, all he could think was, no. No, no, no, no, NO.

"Clint," Bruce asked, "Where's Nat?"

Whatever it takes, that was what they each agreed to, but Steve sure as shit didn't agree to this. They weren't supposed to lose anyone else. That wasn't part of the fucking plan.

While Steve's knees locked, Bruce's buckled as he dropped to the platform and punched at it in his grief. Steve felt like punching something too, but he knew from experience that it wouldn't do anything; it'd just make his knuckles sore. Plus, he doubted that Natasha would approve of him beating up on Clint, the one person who was supposed to make sure that she came back.

"We had to sacrifice what we loved to get the stone," Clint rasped as he attempted to keep his emotion at bay, "And she jumped."

Steve's jaw clenched so he wouldn't say something that he'd regret. Instead, he dropped his Captain America shield and walked off the Quantum platform. Not wanting to spend another minute in those stupid fatigues or smelling of sweat. But mainly, he didn't want people to see him cry.

"Steve," Tony called after him, but he just kept walking.

More people called after him, but he just kept walking. Making his way all the way to the bathroom where he walked directly into a shower cubical. Still fully clothed, Steve turned the water on as hot as it could go and let his tears fall. Sure his skin was turning red and burning from the temperature, but Steve couldn't feel it. Not even as his skin started to blister.

"Steve?"

Looking over his shoulder, he found Cassie. Her brow was set in a heavy furrow and unshed tears were glazing over her eyes; fighting to fall and roll down her cheeks. Softly, Cassie demanded, "Turn off the water. You're hurting yourself."

Not wanting to upset the girl, Steve shut off the water. Fatigues drenched and exposed skin burned, Steve didn't like that she was seeing him like that, even if his sores were healing by the second. Clearing his throat, Steve asked, "Ya mind?"

Holding her hands up in her defense, she didn't sass as she left the communal bathroom. Once she was gone, Steve crossed the room, feet squishing in the soggy socks and wet boots. Locking the door, Steve stripped from the wet items of clothing and, although half of him wanted to just leave them in a clump on the floor, he was mindful enough to toss them in the trash can after wringing them out.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Steve left the bathroom and headed for his room. Locking that door too as he threw on some clean clothes. And while he'd like to just throw himself onto the bed and cry into his pillows, he knew that he couldn't do that. Natasha wouldn't have wanted him to do that.

In a haze, his legs carried him out to the dock where the guys were addressing the situation. Tony asked, "Do we know if she had any family?"

"Yeah," the men turned to look back at Steve as he continued, "Us."

Thor, confused in his grief, questioned, "You're acting like she's dead. Why are you acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Steve --" he clapped his hand on Steve's shoulder "-- we can bring her back, isn't that right? So, stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together."

Clint shook his head, "We can't get her back."

Agreeing with Thor, Steve asked, "Why not?"

"It can't be undone," Clint dramatically waved his arms as though to prove his point, "It can't."

"I'm sorry. No offense," Thor scoffed, "But you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And, "can't," seems very definitive, don't you think?"

"It. Can't. Be. Undone," Clint enunciated. Steve grit his teeth and Clint continued, "It just can't --"

"There has to be a way," Steve interrupted. Approaching the shorter man as he reminded, "Not very long ago, we thought that this would be impossible and that what Thanos did couldn't be undone, but look at what we've done! We're the god damn Avengers, as long as we try, we can find a way!"

"Oh, yeah, so I'm just not trying? Is that what you're saying, Cap?!" Clint shoved at Steve's broad chest. "You think you're the only one who cares about her?"

Although it wasn't the smart thing to do, Steve shoved him back. "Out of the two of us, who's the one that was with her when she picked up our slack? When she carried this team on her back? When she broke down because she was trying to get the world to some kind of normal? I know the answer, and it wasn't fucking you!"

Instead of increasing the physical aggression, Clint took a step back. His expression split open in his anguish and he said, "It should've been me at the bottom of that cliff, but it's not. She sacrificed her life for that god damn stone. She bet her life on it."

At that, Bruce removed the sturdy bench from its bolts and launched the piece of furniture across the lake. Anger momentarily spent, he turned to face the other four men, "She's not coming back. Not right now, at least. So, we have to make it worth it. We have to."

Determined, Steve left no room for argument, "We will."