My darkroom needed some light so I lit a candle next to my window
where it is calling out your name in all this darkness
you had left me in, all this pain is cutting me deep within
You have stolen my heart from me even when I didn't want you too
when I needed you, I could never find you around.
one day, all of this will come to its end
it will all have to stop, because my heart is feeling too heavy
with all the chaos you have given me, yet, I still forgive
No more letters, no messages, you just left me to fall
just like those leaves of autumn
falling from trees leaving them bare with no care at all
I look around the castle and I would see our photos
I started taking them down, I could no longer bear to look at them any longer.
you would think my poor heart would be relief that you are away
yet, my mind is running on so much confusion
because I was always been abused and used by a beast
where he would feast on my fears
I always felt ill when he was near,
I needed him but not as much as he needed me
I remember all those nights he would sit up telling me his lies
just so he could see me cry...
My heart has fallen apart, he has left me marked
now I don't know how to live my life without him
because he was the one who was living it for me,
So what must I do? I am so confused...
So, I put a candle next to my bedroom window
so you could see it, I don't know if its because I missed you
or is it I know if you were with me I know all that you are about to do
and when you are away, it makes me more afraid;
this old pain is bring on the rain
Today someone had told me some news about you
that you are around town dancing with the old news
of what was once was your lover is still playing under your covers,
what a shame, I can still hear you calling out my name.
My poor heart can no longer keep taken all this blame
I can feel it collapsing slowly with no way out of this pain,
You gave me a world of your darkness and it is taken me down
I don't know what to do with my life,
not knowing the reason why you did all of this
You scattered my heart all over the place, what a disgrace,
I hope and pray I never have to see your face
but every day and night I can trace all this pain back to you
those ancient gray clouds have formed all around
while my poor weeping heart just pours in ink
while the world is sleeping, and my spirit is sinking
while you're out playing your head games.
I remember all your threatening words as they poured
out from my mind while I wrote them down in my famous lines
as my body started feeling cold almost like a death coldness
that is making me ill...is this real? I have the chills
I started to cry as my body has fallen to the floor
I looked up at the candle in my window as it started flickering
that is when I heard him speak, saying you could never get rid of me.
because I am still dancing with you in all my dreams.
-Judy Emery © 1993 The QueenOf Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
