The horrendous pain, that brought on the rain
I felt I was about to go insane,
I found no peace, in this war of a nightmare
The environment in classical times, where love
gave true character to another heart
But, I was always at war within myself
the painful past cut me deep
I now fear love, I fear the burn that frozen me
frozen my heart to ever try to love again
This pain of losing to a place called death,
that burnt whole deep within my heart
It feels as if my spirit has flown way above the wind
looking for my way in. yet, my spirit didn't arise
I got lost in darken dreams
I thought I had seen it all
but I can now say I had been so wrong
I know I have seen many seasons,
and I held on to my pains for my own reasons.
Where memories play games on my mind
and photos get put into little lockets
where the image remains with time
I do remember when love held me tight,
Oh, just the thoughts brought me back to life
but soon I became a prisoner to the pain
where love had been lost in a place of death
hold me not- Yet I still cry out your name
Will I ever escape this pain?
every time I think back to where we once were,
I started shuddering in horrendous pain
No wise -no plots to play
life just happens this away
I hear so many talks in a sarcastic away
while they looked me up and down
as I walk on by, I could see the coals die
into their won eyes what they try to hide.
Let me live my own life
go on and move aside
love didn't die
because his memory lives deep within
this is my device why I write
People assume they know what it is I feel
death is a given-
in life, we need to be forgiven
If one was to look without eyes
what could they see about me?
without a tongue, one couldn't speak,
that would make life so plainly don't you think?
So, I write what cuts me deep for all to read
what it is I bleed. Because life works that way
I have my own desires to perish
I cry out for help, but did anyone hear?
did anyone care for my health?
I am broken, Yet, I did once loved.
I truly loved another, but death has taken
my love away from me
at times I find myself hating me
for what I couldn't see to set love free.
So now and forever I live in sorrow
as I will never see a tomorrow.
Oh, laughter and bitter pain
you make me feel so ashamed.
Likewise to live life without my true love
without displeasing me both life and death
without losing my head,
but I give life my best.
There are days, in my life that was once filled
with happiness and love. But that was the world
back then, now my heart is filled with an emptiness
that leaked in more pains and sorrows.
-Judy Emery © 1983 The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
