It Was Good...

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine:

I dreaded going into school the next day. Ignoring social media because I was still getting comments on my posts asking about Ethan. I opted out on dinner with my family just staying in my room and laying in bed. I couldn't get close to sleeping without hearing Madison's voice in my head yelling his name. There was a light knock on my door as my mothers face poked into my thoughts.

"Jordey?" She said "can I come in?"

"Of course." I said as she opened and closed the door very quietly taking a seat besides me on my bed.

"Are you alright honey?" She said wrapping one hand around me pulling me up to sit with her.

"I'm fine mom. I just left a relationship of two years." I said quietly.

"Oh honey." She said hugging me.

No emotions came forward. I didn't want to cry, or yell. I didn't even want to talk. I was feeling the shell starting to surround me as my mother hugged me tighter. Her skin was soft as she pulled me against her it was like silk. I couldn't believe she even thought I needed this much attention.

"Mom, you're suffocating me." I said blankly.

"Are you hungry? I can bring up some of your potatoes and Salisbury steak with some peas if you want them."

"That'd be great mom, don't hold back on any of it." I replied with a forced smile.

"I'll be right back." She said kissing my head then rushing out of the room.

My mouth salivated as I thought of the food that was coming, she made my favorite meal on purpose I guess. Depending on how much my brother ate there will probably be two or three extra when I'm given my food. When everyone goes to bed those will be piled high into my mouth.

"Jordan! Daddy wants you." I heard mom yell from downstairs.

"Coming." I said quietly knowing I was in trouble. I quickly put on one of daddy's older t-shirts and went downstairs. My father was sitting in his usual seat with a Jack Daniels in hand waiting as I sat on the couch closest to him. My mother looked sad again as she left for the kitchen.

"Why is it that you can eat in your room but you can't eat with us?" He said clearly angry with me.

"Daddy I'm sorry I just didn't feel well when mommy called for dinner. When she offered I was starting to feel better and-"

"Abigail." My fathers stern voice said as my mom slowly appeared with a towel in hand drying them.

"Yes dear?" She said quietly.

"Why did you offer her food when she was clearly too ill to eat with her family?"

"I'm her mother Ben what was I supposed to do? I wasn't going to let my daughter starve herself." Mom said looking at my baggy t-shirt. Did she know? I don't starve myself. I just throw up after I finish eating. I never even thought about starving myself. I wonder how well that would work. Would it drop the weight faster then my purging? How would I be able to do that at school or with family dinners. Daddy would never allow me to not eat while at the table. Would I be able to-

My thoughts were caught off as I saw out of the corner of my eye as my fathers hand grabbed onto my arm.

"Are you even listening to me Jordan? God dammit! You will learn to listen!" He said starting to take off his belt.

"No daddy, I was listening! Please daddy! I'll pay more attention next time! I'll never let my train of thought go off the rails! I'll never-" my breath caught in my throat as the first smack of the belt landed on my back. I knew talking wouldn't help, I needed to take it.