It Was Good...

Chapter Nineteen

What am I running from?

The question rings through my head, I can hear Kaylns voice in my ears. The drive home was long and the speed I was going was obviously under the limit. The cars behind me honked but I could barely hear them, all I could think about was Callie, our friendship and lies.

How long had this been happening? How long had she been lying to me? It's only been a few days right?

I might as well just go home and stay home. There's no use for me to leave the house with everyone's judging eyes following me around.

I'm the girl who got dumped by Ethan Montgomery.

In everyone's eyes, I'm the slut who ruined a good relationship when I'm the one who found him cheating.

What am I running from?

All the people who would listen to anyone but me. My family and everything that's going on at home. My own choices that have led me to all of these problems. Lastly, the person who could probably fix it, Kayln.

He's always tried to fix things for me, anything wrong in my life he would attempt to help me with it; to change things for the better. How am I supposed to accept help from someone else when I can't even help myself? What am I supposed to do about my best friend who has completely lost herself trying to make me better. It isn't my fault that people want to help, I didn't ask them to. I never said for them to help me, they just believed that I was an injured person who needed to heal.

My phones ringing but I can barely hear the sound. The road is blurry to me but I just keep driving. I can't see and I'm losing consciousness as I pull up to my house. I run as fast as I can to the door, ruining the bell before I topple to the ground.

When I wake up I'm on the couch, my mother is sitting in my fathers chair with a wash cloth in hand staring at the wall above me.

I look to her but she doesn't meet my gaze, she simply keeps staring ahead.

"How are you feeling mom?"

She startles and worry immediately engulfs her face, she looks to me and quickly crosses the small distance between her and I dabbing my face with the washcloth.

"What happened? Why did I find you on the porch? Why did you faint? Have you eaten? Are you sick? Is everything alright?" She pounds questions at me like the weight that hangs from her face.

"I'm fine, just tired. No I haven't eaten but I'm not actually feeling up to it. I made it to the porch before collapsing so that's better than nothing right?" I say sitting up against my mothers advice.

"Well, you're going to eat something, I'll make you a chicken breast with noodles and vegetables. I don't care if you aren't 'in the mood' to eat. I'm your mother and if you're malnourished then that's my responsibility."

"Mom really don't need to eat anything."

"You aren't going anorexic on me are you?"

No but a little bulimic apparently.

"Fine mom, whatever, make the freaking food." I said waving her off as I rose from the couch to go sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.

When the food had finished and we both settled to eat,min between chews my mother looked at me and said "Kayln stopped by while you were asleep."

I dropped my fork and looked my mother dead in the eyes. "What did he say?"

"He said that it was probably his fault that you were out. He thinks you over stressed yourself."

"Well that's just ridiculous." I said resuming eating.

I don't know why I bother eating, it all ends the same way no matter what.

"What are you thinking of?" My mom said after a few seconds of silence.

"I'm worried about what happens when Dad gets home from his trip."

"We have time."

"Why didn't you ever leave him? Why do you put yourself through all of this?"

"It's marriage, it's something that is supposed to be eternal."

"Mom if you left him, it would be ok. No one would judge you except him. We all shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Honey, I've tried leaving him. He won't let me."

"Then what a good time to do it now? He's out of town, we can call a moving truck, you can take us and go. We can go far, we could move to L.A. And start a new. We could run and he wouldn't come to find us. We'll switch schools and I'll make new friends. It would all be so perfect." I paused as she thought. "Mom this is the time to do it, this is the time for us to be free."

"Jordan, I don't know what to say."

"Say yes, say you'll let us leave and be free from Dad and all he's done to all of us, say that you are leaving and taking us with you before he kills us."

She looked at me in thought, her mouth puckered up and a smile spread across her lips.

"I need to call that lawyer."

"Are we doing it?" I looked at her, hope gleaming from my very body.

"We are leaving Jordan. All of us are leaving and never turning back for a backwards glance." Her smile grew on her face as she looked at me, I could feel the excitement rising through both of us.

"Call the lawyer now, I'll get the boxes from the basement to help us get out."

I ran to the basement grabbing all the folded up boxes I could and ran to my room. I started throwing CDs and DVDs in boxes, emptying my shelves and everything on my desk. I moved to my closet digging all of my clothes out. I left out two simple outfits to wear for the next day or so as I folded the rest and tossed them in. As I started packing my electronics my mom walked in on the phone. She threw duck tape at me and started closing one of the other boxes while I packed even more things into boxes.

We both moved on to my brothers room tossing more things in boxes and almost sitting on them to get them to shut. My mom continued to talk on the phone about divorce and moving. 

I didn't know what to say, my mother finally us taking her right back to leave and run from him.

She hung up the phone and quickly said "You won't be in school for the rest of the week and your brother has an early dismissal