The Blindside of Love (Camren) Altern Versión

Chapter 60

"Mila ?" Harry sounded alarmed as he opened the door to his apartment and found his stepsister standing there. "Did something happen?"

Camila passed by him, entering the apartment, feeling flustered and confused. Her voice took on a nervous edge as she spoke. "I'm freaking out," she announced, just as Louis walked out of the bedroom. He sent a questioning glance to Harry who shrugged.

She was oblivious to the exchange as she continued. "On the way here I stopped at the confessional at Church and then I thought 'what am I doing here?' I mean you don't just confess these things to a priest, do you? You have to admit them to yourself first. But when you do that's it, it's real. It's out there. You can't reign it back in once you've released it into the world."

She started to pace.

Harry and Louis watched silently for a moment. Finally, Harry spoke up. "Um, Mila," he began, gently, though his voice was thick with sleep. "What are you talking about?"

Camila paused long enough to glance at her audience. She sighed and sat down on the couch. "I've been having these thoughts about someone." She paused, feeling foolish and embarrassed. The fact that she was sitting there felt surreal; a scene she was imagining; a 'what if' scenario that would play out and then fade into the background of her thoughts, leaving her safe from consequence.

But, she knew it wasn't a passing thought she was caught in. She was at the edge of a cliff and she was about to dive. "A girl someone," she whispered, looking down.

Louis and Harry exchanged another glance. "I'm going to make coffee," Louis announced, moving off to do just that.

"Lots of coffee," he muttered under his breath.

Harry stepped closer, grabbing a chair from the table. He sat down with a sigh.

"So, what kind of thoughts?" he asked.

Camila glanced up. "Please don't make me go into details. This is embarrassing enough as it is." She ran a hand through her disheveled hair, noticing for the first time that she was still in her pajamas. "I had this dream where we kissed."

"I had a dream I kissed this girl Eleanor  Calder from work," Louis supplied. "A dream doesn't mean anything." He paused, making a face. "I hope. God, what if I'm straight?"

Harry watched Camila with concern. "It was just a dream?" he questioned.

"Yes," she said. Then shook her head.

"No. There were other things." She chewed on her bottom lip. "She confuses me. Whenever I see her ... I just want..."

"To fuck her brains out," Louis offered.
Camila' head shot up at the words and she blushed furiously. "Louis," Harry warned.

"Don't 'Louis' me," his boyfriend argued, grabbing another chair. He pulled it closer to Camila. He pushed stray locks of brown hair out of his face and leaned forward.

"Now, your brother sucks at this stuff. So, I'm going to take over. Tell me about this girl. Is she cute?"

Camila smiled slightly at the thought of anyone calling Lauren Jauregui "cute".

She paused to consider her words. "She's gorgeous," was all she could come up with. Images of photo shoots and pictures she'd recently encountered while surfing the web filtered through her mind. She instantly lowered her gaze, afraid that they'd see her thoughts reflected.

"What's her name?"

Camila considered how much to say.

"Lauren," she answered. She sighed. "But she's got a date on Friday. And I should be happy for her, because she's my friend, but I don't want her to date Normani."

"Oh, so she's gay?" Louis asked.

"Yeah," Camila confirmed. "But there's no way she'd ever be interested in me. I mean she's ..." She bit her tongue to keep from saying anymore. Explaining her crush on Lauren Jauregui of all people wouldn't be easy. "And I'm still not really sure of what I'm feeling. I'm not even sure why I'm here. I just couldn't sleep. And I couldn't tell Dinah. She'd flip out."

"You're always welcome here," Harry told her.

Louis nodded. "It'll be okay," he said.

"You'll figure things out. Just go with the flow of things."

Flow of things. Right. From the dark recesses of her mind, something started to emerge. "Anthony," she said, shocked that she'd somehow forgotten all about him. "I'm going away with him for the weekend."

"Well," Louis said thoughtfully, "that's good. Maybe he'll help you figure some stuff out. I mean if you really care about him, then maybe what you're feeling for Lauren is just a fleeting crush."

Yes, fleeting. Camila liked the thought of that. "Perhaps," she allowed, finding comfort in the knowledge that her feelings could be temporary.

Could be.