The Blindside of Love (Camren) Altern Versión

Chapter 67

REMEMBER TO WEAR A MASK BABYS 💖💖

Wednesday, 1:02am

Life felt more serious when cloaked in silence.

She watched the glowing numbers on the alarm clock, seemingly brighter in the darkness of the room. What she wanted was to close her eyes and surrender. She wanted to ignore the way time  slowly, only when she remembered it was there.

But her mind was oblivious to her wishes.

It was a mirror reflecting what she felt, but not controlling how she felt it. And her thoughts projected light onto the silver screen of unwanted consciousness: forcing her to think, forcing her to feel ...demanding her attention.

Lauren stared at the paintings on the wall, now dark and grotesque in the presence of shadows: strange how beauty was so easily distorted by the absence of light. She was growing tired of darkness ... of the pain.

Mistakenly, she had assumed that she could control it. She couldn't remember the moment when she'd felt herself falling, and let go. But she blamed it on the silence: the pauses, the comas, the breaths between words. All of those moments too intangible to mention had somehow convinced her that she could take on the night.

And now she realized why she had always opted for solitude. Until now, she hadn't had a clue what it meant.

Wednesday, 1:46am

Cons:

- Disowned by family
- No legal marriage (Vermont?)
- No kids (adoption, artificial insemination?)
- Sin?
- Hiding
- Shame
- Fear

Pros:

Camila stared at the computer monitor and sighed. Were there any pros to being gay? She couldn't think of any.

"God, this is depressing," she muttered, closing down the Word document. Society sure didn't make it easy. How did Louis and Harry get up in the morning? Or Lauren for that matter.

Lauren ...

She eyed the telephone by her bed. Was the actress asleep? Probably. It was nearly two in the morning. Then again, she wasn't altogether sure that Lauren ever slept. Still, if she called, the possibility stood that she would say things she didn't want to say.

Then again, if she didn't call, she would have to spend the rest of the night wondering if Lauren was still awake. Then at some point, the fantasies would start implanting themselves upon her subconscious, making her wonder dumb things like: is Lauren thinking of me? Or, worse yet: Is she dreaming of me? And the corniness of her meanderings would escalate until sense, logic, and reason would dissipate into oblivion, leaving Camila frustrated, annoyed, and more often than not, breathless and turned on.

She picked up the telephone and dialed.

"Jauregui."

Camila smiled into the receiver. "Did I wake you?"

"Not really. I was just watching TV. Is something wrong?"

"Only if boredom qualifies as a problem," Camila replied. She wondered if Lauren minded these post-midnight phone calls.

She also wondered if there was any way of getting a recording of Lauren's voice. It was addicting. "Anything good on?"

"Infomercials," Lauren answered. "Let's see ... more infomercials ... news ... weather ... something with weird alien creatures ... a naked woman riding a horse ..."