Pup

Step by Step

Hank stepped through the falling snow beginning to cover and cushion the ground. He adjusted the dinosaur hat he was holding which had a scarf tucked in it.  Once he knew it was firmly in his gloved hand he picked his head up and began to survey the crowd of kids pouring from the school and onto the playground. They ran around in puffy coats like little rainbow marshmallows and frolicked through the grounds trying to catch snowflakes on their tounges. Hank didn't bother to look completely through the entire area, he knew where Oliver would be, on the swings, near the sandbox, or hovering at the fence with the aids.  He joined the crowd of parents waiting to be let in to pick up their kids and found Oliver right away in what was the sandbox, trying to mold snow in his hands by himself. After the people in front of him were let in then out through a separate gate after wrangling their kids Hank was let in. All around him kids complained and refused to go to their parents when they called or tried to beg for just a few more minutes. Finally made sense why it took so much time for him to be able to get to the gate. He signed the paper in the aid's hands and picked up Oliver's backpack against the fence among the other children's bags. He took a few steps forward to get through the other parents and yelled out Oliver's name clear and quick. With no hesitation, Oliver's head whipped around to attention, and he began to run towards him with arms open. Some parents looked over at Hank, annoyed that he had called Oliver's name so loudly but stopped when they realized how quickly and excitedly Oliver came to his side. 

"Pappa! Pappa!" Oliver said throwing his arms up to be picked up or hugged. 

Hank smiled "hey kiddo! Come here." Hank wrapped Oliver up in a big hug. "Here I got you your warmer hat and scarf from home, I didn't expect it to snow so fast," he said swapping Oliver's hat and wrapping the scarf cozily around his neck and face. Hank took Oliver's hand and walked him to the car. In which while walking Oliver excitedly talked about a Rudolf puppet he made that day and how everyone got a cookie with lunch even if you had your own. Hank listened and responded intently as he picked Oliver up and buckled him in, not before touching his cheek with a smile on his face. Oliver's face was rosy and brighter than he ever saw it. 

"Sounds like you had a fun day kiddo,  you think you up for more?" Hank asked buckling him in.

"Yeah! Oh dad I didn't feel dizzy today even when out in the snow! It's still really cold" he shivered and shook in his seat. 

"Good, that means you're getting better, and here let me go turn up the heat," he said closing the door and jumping into the driver's seat. He reached over and turned the nob up to replace the heat that escaped from the open door and drove slowly out of the parking lot to the rode. The snow was pasted to the ground in the neighborhood streets, tall banks of snow lining the sidewalks and ice hanging off of roofs. Oliver looked out the window and quietly observed for the rest of the ride, clearly tired of all the word soup that had just come out of his mouth. 

That is until he began to recognize his surroundings even as they blew by. 

"Pappa? Are we going to the station!" he asked excitedly sitting up in his seat. 

"We are, I have a few more things to do until I'm done and for a little time I'll need you to stay with Jay, okay? I won't be long." Oliver started to shrink back in anxiety at Hank mentioning that he'd have to be away from him. His stomach began to hurt and he was cold even though the heat was on. He felt his breath escaping him, again and again, every time he tried to breathe. He was scared, really scared. He didn't like this feeling and he didn't like being away from Hank. 

The car came to a stop and Hank turned around and put a hand on his knee and spoke,

"Hey listen to me, you're gonna be fine. Remember what Dr. Charles said at your last appointment ?"

Oliver swallowed hard and sucked a breath in, "that..that you'll come back..and you wouldn't leave alone if something is bad" he replied. Hank nodded his head with a small smile.

"that's right. And you have your calm box" Hank added. Oliver nodded, feeling a slight edge off the fear. He quietly followed Hank's lead out of the car and into the station. It was especially bustling today with many officers and civilians who were being loud. He squeezed Hank's hand as they went by up the stairs and released as the noise faded. Which was another thing Dr. Charls had told him to do. He remembered he always had to open and relax his hand though because if he didn't he was blocking the anxiety from getting out, like a car in a broken tunnel, it couldn't get out. So he did, letting go for a moment then, he wrapped his fingers back around Hank's hand. Without a word they walked right past the break room into Hank's office where Oliver curled up on the couch and took out a book, trying to settle down and focus on the words.   Slowly but surely the words came into focus. His body warmed back up, making his muscles feel good and his belly better. Even when the occasional person walked in the office Oliver would just look up to see and watch them until they would turn to leave, and eventually he got used to the rhythm of his environment.  First talking would get closer, followed by footsteps that would get closer until there was a knock at the door and the new voice would speak quietly and then the same would happen in reverse and fall silently again. But just when he got a sense of normalcy things went to change again, Hank got up from his chair and sat on the couch beside him.

"Ok kiddo here's the deal, Ive got to sit in a boring meeting for an hour, you'll stay in here and Detective Halstead will just check in on you ok? He doesn't stay if you don't want him too" Hank explained just like Dr. Charles taught him to. Give him a timeframe to help reassure that he'd come back, ensure his safety and his space all while keeping him in a safe environment. But that didn't stop Oliver's panic from setting in like a flash, Immediately his body visibly tightened and his breathing shortened, it started to get harder to see. What if he didn't come back? What if he left him again? His mind was crashing down around him again but on the outside he was shaking, his eyes weren't focused or present and he began biting his fingers hard. Hank could see his eyes glazing over, his face going pale and he was barely breathing, as if his body was frozen but shaking all over. 

"Hey hey it's alright, I'm not leaving the building I'm just going to another room ok? Can I put my hands on your shoulders for a minute?" he asked, following what Dr. Charles had told him. He had dealt with trauma before but with a little kid beyond traumatized like this he was flying blind, and he hated it. He hated not knowing things, it made him angry and frustrated but he couldn't be right now, he couldn't show a hint of it. That he at least knew how to do.

Very very slowly he placed his hands on Ollie's shoulders, letting him pull away at any second if he felt he needed too but besides his muscle tremors from being so tight he didn't flinch under Hank's touch. It was...bittersweet in a way. His mind was fighting things he couldn't understand but yet he did feel the immediate need or instinct to fight Hank. But Hank couldn't help but wonder if that'd be enough to help him. 

(will be continued! Just wanted to show I'm bac, I'm here and ollie's story continues! Also a question, I have a part of Oliver's story I really want to share but it doesn't happen till later in his time line. But...if you'd like me to put that story out comment!)