Dream

20: Trip

A/N: thank you everyone who has voted for the previous chapter. Happy reading.

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"Sorry I don't mean to hurt you. I just want you to overcome it so you can be free from it. And we won't know until you try it," Joy says. 

Sungjae puts a bitter smile. "It's okay. I know you have a good intention. But what you said is right. I'm letting my dreams take control over me. And you make me realise that I'm actually a coward."

Seeing Sungjae like now making Joy's heart hurts. It hurts more because she's the one who caused it. "You're not, Sungjae. That's not true. I'm sorry for saying that. You are a strong and brave person that has put up with it until now. You are still being a singer to make others happy despite having those dreams. You can see that you're definitely not a coward. Because a coward would have given up already," Joy explains.

'Not given up yet,' Sungjae comments silently.  He doesn't tell her that he has lost his confidence in singing. How can he continue to sing with his current state? He has considered to give up on singing because of that, but he can't. Singing is part of his life. He wants to continue singing to the end.

"I don't think your suggestion will work. I still have nightmares even though I'm feeling well," Sungjae says.

"What if it happens because you think you're feeling well, but you're actually not?"

"Are you saying I don't know my own feeling?" Sungjae asks for more explanation.

"Nope. I'm sure you can know, but you refuse to feel that way. It's like saying you're fine when you're actually not. What if you have nightmares because you force yourself to feel well, while your body stays unwell and leads you to those nightmares? You might have something that you're scared or stressed about right now," Joy explains.

"How about trying to accept and acknowledge your situation? Just feel what you're supposed to feel. Because pretending everything's okay will just make it harder to face the real problem," Joy suggests.

Sungjae finds what Joy said interesting. Joy got some points right about him. Sungjae rarely lets people know about his problem because he doesn't like to bother others. He also always act like his problem isn't a big deal, then continues life like nothing happens while trying to fix it quietly. But apparently, not letting himself express can make it worse.

"I can try to do that," Sungjae replies.

"I don't know what you are stressed about, but share it with your close friends and ask them for help. Don't keep everything by yourself, pretending everything's okay and put a fake smile anymore, Yook Sungjae. You know, it's always okay to be not okay. I'm sure you'll get to resolve whatever you're facing right now."

"I'll try that too," Sungjae says. Joy's words make him realise he's been being too hard on himself. He'll start to care for his own self now.

"I hope it can reduce your nightmares for real. So you'll feel better and happier. You deserve happiness as much as you have made other's happy, you know."

"So do you," Sungjae says with a smile. Everyone deserves happiness in their lives.

Hearing Joy's genuine hope gives him comfort. It's comforting to know there's someone rooting for you and don't want anything from you, but for you to be happy. That girl has always been cared about his happiness and genuinely help him to find it.

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"Do you know how to go back to your hotel?" Joy asks Sungjae as they has finished their dessert. She is worried Sungjae will be lost on the way home again.