Behind the Mask

~Chapter 23~

It had to be the soulmate chapter, you know why arrrrmmmmyyyyy.

Also, I have a suggestion for you guys, I do this all the time whenever I write and it makes the story sound twice as good, just try to read it out loud with a british accent, especially at the dialogues, but generally the whole chapter, to me it gives a special ring to it. Just try it, okay? Thanks.

~Taehyung's POV~

I just wanted a moment of silence.

A moment where I could finally hear my own thoughts, apart from the general chaos that was going on inside the house. I needed a moment to process everything that's happened since last night because, until just now, it all seemed like a mere dream.
A nightmare.

All I wanted was to wake up next to Jimin in our old dorm room after a game night to the smell of fresh pancakes Jin hyung would always make on Saturday mornings, and feel like I was home. And everything's normal, like it's always been.

Jungkook would be downstairs, half asleep and almost falling off his chair at the kitchen table, Yoongi and Hoseok would be sitting on the couch, watching TV, waiting for our lazy asses to finally get out of bed so they could dig into breakfast, Namjoon would be somewhere next to Jin, trying to help with anything he could in the kitchen, only to be chased away as fast as possible, before he could damage anything irreparably... We would all then sit down at the table and start munching on the pancakes, discussing our schedule for the day and occasionally being interrupted by Jungkook's little yawns, that would cut right through Namjoon's passionate speeches... for me, this was home.

Instead, this morning I had to wake up next to a sleeping Jungkook, with his cheeks still tear-stained from last night, and I was suddenly forced to realize that this was not a dream. I couldn't just wake up, relieved that none of it ever happened.
Because this was the reality.
As much as it hurt to admit it, I really talked to Jungkook last night, and he actually confessed so much to me, but it was not the confession I had been waiting for so long to hear.
Not even close.

He... he told me that he was straight, which I couldn't really dare to get worked up about; after all, everyone's sexuality should be their own choice, but then again he also told me that if I would've asked him before, his answer may have been different. Did that mean that, all those years ago, he felt something for me, too? He never said anything, though...

Or if I thought about it, I could recall him whispering inaudible things to me in the middle of the night, when he thought I was asleep. I could sometimes make up 'can't be', or 'I'm sorry', but I never knew exactly what he meant. Suddenly, it all started to make sense.

How happy he would look every time I hugged him as he slept, all of his frowns disappearing once he could feel my hands resting on his back, protecting him from whatever creature he was dreaming about, and how he would smile to me in the morning when I woke up and he was there, looking at me with a look I could now only describe as loving.. how he stopped coming to my room once Jin found out about us, probably afraid of what he and the others might think, the very way he kept avoiding me as much as possible afterwards, not even looking at me or addressing me a word, it all just clicked.

I had been blind. So blind, and for so long, thinking I was hurt and suffering while he had to deal with his feelings all by himself, too afraid to talk to any of us about it because he couldn't understand what was going on, either..

I should've talked to him back then, make some sense of this mess, but I was a coward. I thought there was no way he could ever return my feelings, so if I talked to him, I would only end up pushing him away.