BAU- Spencer Reid x reader

chapter 6- Bedrest

Spencer's pov:

     It's weird not having Y/n here. She's been at work everyday since she started. Hotch told the team this morning that she would be out for a few days after he and JJ briefed us for the new case.
     I'm on the plane, sitting opposite of Morgan, while we head to New York. I'm trying to focus on the case files, trying to piece together the puzzles of this murder. But for some reason, it's hard to concentrate. Normally I can always focus on my job. Maybe it's just weird not having the full team here.

your pov:

     Last night I woke up in a pool of my own sweat; my hair plastered to my neck and forehead and my breathing unsteady and sharp.
     I searched for my phone and finally found it tangled in my blanket on the floor. It was only 2am. Which meant I only was asleep for about an hour.
     I remember the dream I had, just like I remember the events which occurred in Missouri, vividly. The dream consisted of alike events of what actually happened downtown last night, but instead, Spencer didn't come to help and Harry dragged the knife across my neck. I fell to my knees, clinging to my throat while I got covered in my own blood.
     I saw Harry Reynold's face as I collapsed onto the floor. He was scared, and suddenly the bullet was back in his head, and it was my hand again that pulled the trigger, ending his life. It felt so real, I guess because half of it was real.
     Now, I sit holding my knees as I shiver on the couch at 5am. The funny thing is so, I'm burning up. Probably even running a fever. I want to sleep, but at the same time I'm scared to see my former patient's death bound face when I close my eyes.
     I wish I was going to work today. In a few hours I'd be sitting at my desk getting ready to brief the team and start a case. I'd have a distraction from my own head.
     But I'm not so lucky, instead I have stay home, alone and try not to get consumed by my own thoughts.
      I don't feel like watching tv, reading, or even moving my burning body. I don't even care that I'm still in my clothes from yesterday. My eyes are groggy my body aches. I'm so over this.
     Around 3pm I get a knock at my door. "Just a minute!" I yell and I barely even recognize my own voice, it's deep and raspy and cold. Struggling, I push myself up off of my couch for the first since I lied down about 14 hours ago.
     With the blanket wrapped around my shoulders like a cape, I trudge over to my door and slowly open it. No one's there, I look down and see a vase of flowers. Colorful, and bright.
     I pick it up and take it to my kitchen. The note reads "Y/n, I'm sorry about what happened. Miss you at work, crazy girl! Love you- P Garcia"
     I can't help but smile. Penelope always has a way of cheering anyone up. These flowers are so colorful I should've known they were from Garcia. I take one last glance at them, and go back to my place on the couch.
     (that was kinda just a filler for right now)

There's two names that keep popping into my head. One is reasonable. Harry. I understand why I keep thinking about him, I killed him. But the other name, Spencer Reid, has no explanation. This year was the first time Spencer and I actually held a conversation for longer than 2 minutes that wasn't about work.
His name popped into my head as the sunset. I was thinking about the case they're working on, and I found myself wanting to be in his company. Maybe it was just that I wanted to be in anybody's company. But there's something about Spencer that comforts me. Like last night in the ambulance he made me feel better, even if it was just for a moment. On the couch in the plane, when he slept close to me, the sound of his steady breathing was some sort of calming to my racing mind.
I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm probably just going crazy from lack of sleep and guilt.
I finally get some sleep for a few hours. It's full of swirls of visions with Spencer and Harry and the whole night that I can't stop thinking about. But at least I slept a little, even if it wasn't very restful.
I get to go back to work once they finish the case. JJ texted me with an update a few hours ago. They have a description, but they haven't caught the unsub yet.

Thank you for reading! I promise the next chapter will be more interesting<3 830 words