BAU- Spencer Reid x reader

chapter 10- What Now?

your pov:

     We haven't said anything to each other in a while. It's weird. Spencer has to go back to work tomorrow, aka Monday, and I don't go back until Wednesday. That is if they let me. I have to do a check up to make sure I'm good to go back. I hate that I can't go back to work yet.
     "You should probably go home," I say sometime around 2pm. "So you can shower and you know, not be cooped up in my apartment."
     "Are you okay for me to leave?"
     "Yeah, I mean, you have work tomorrow."
     "But are you alright?"
     "I'm alright, yeah."
     "Okay," he says hesitantly and gets up to grab his satchel and bag of clothes. "I'll see you later."
     "Bye, Spence."
     He leaves my apartment and I'm automatically washed with the wave of being alone. These past two weeks have been pretty traumatic I suppose, and Spencer being here distracted me from that.
     I can't stop thinking about yesterday. His hands on my thighs, mine in his hair. He was warm and comforting. I've never had that before.
     Jake wasn't a horrible guy, he just wasn't a good boyfriend. His mom wasn't stable, he never said it out loud, but I could infer by the way he talked about her and the way he acted. That didn't give him a reason to cheat on me three times, or assert his dominance every time I was around him.
     I don't know why I didn't leave sooner. I've never been the type to let someone do anything like that to me. I guess it's just what I told Spencer, I wanted someone to be there. I should've realized I wanted someone there who cared and actually loved me, not someone who was the same, just wanting a body to be there for him.
     My stomach is feeling better today, just still damn sore.
     I cuddle up with a blanket while I drink coffee and watch my favorite show. Life is so uneventful without work. I don't have very many friends outside of the team, which I guess they're really more like family. All of my friends are back in Missouri or from BU, and I haven't talked to any of them in over a year. I don't go out unless it's with JJ or Emily, and I love them don't get me wrong, but I see them every day.

     Hotch calls me and says I have an evaluation to make sure I can go back to work today. I have to go in at 8am and answer questions.
     I get ready quickly in black dress pants, a red top, and a black blazer. I slip into short black heels after putting on makeup and everything else I'm used to doing in the morning.
     Before, heading out the door, I grab my coffee and bag. Grateful for Rossi getting me my car back, I start the engine and pull out of my complex's parking lot.
     I drive in silence, hoping they'll say I can get back to work today.
     My meeting is on the floor below ours in a conference room.
     "Good morning, agent," the psychologist says.
     "Good morning," I say cheerfully, hoping it'll help this evaluation go well.
     "I'll get right into the first question, is your wound healing well?"
     "Yes, I keep it bandaged and nicely cleaned. It's looking a lot better."
     "Good," he says writing in his notepad. "And you're mentally prepared to get back to work? You're not too worried about another injury on the field?"
     "I understand anyone can get hurt in this line of work, I always have sir. I'm ready to start helping people again."
     "Alright. And lastly, have you had any type of episode related to stress, pain, or anything of the sort."
     "Nope, all good here." I'm sort of lying, but he doesn't need to know that.
     "Alright. It looks like you're ready to get back to work, I do suggest you stay in the office for the rest of this week and you can get back in the field on Monday."
     I know my face shows my feelings right now. "Oh okay. Thank you, doctor."
     He nods his head. "Have a good day, agent."
     "You too."
     Really? I can't work on any cases we might have that are outside of Quantico. I'm stuck in my office for three days.
     I take the elevator to our floor, and set my stuff down in the office. The doctor just informed Hotch and Rossi what he told me.

     "Two high school girls from New Jersey have been missing for the last few days. Teachers or parents haven't heard from them since Monday after school...."
     "Y/l/n, you'll be staying here to assist Garcia," Hotch says at the end of the briefing.
     I nod my head and say "Yes sir."
     I head back into my office to answer some emails and I get a phone call.
     "Yes sir, for any more information please call me on this number or Agent Jareau," I say ending the phone call about the case.
     I go to my bosses and tell them what I was just told about another student who didn't show up to school and his parents said he was on his way. "He could just be cutting, but he's a football star, they said he wouldn't just skip."
     "Okay thank you, Y/n."
     Spencer catches my eye as I turn to go back to my office. I stop and face him. "Be careful out there," I say, yearning to touch him even just lightly on the arm, but I don't.
     "Of course," he says, putting his hands in his front pockets.
     I shoot him a small smile and turn away.

     I'm in Penelope's 'lair' as she searches information.
     "These girls don't seem like they're in the same click," I say out loud.
     "How can you tell?"
     "When I was talking to the cops and the school principal, they described Josie as a female jock. She plays soccer and runs track, while Jaydin keeps to herself and doesn't do any extra curriculars. Obviously friends can be different, but most of the time they're interested in the same things. So whoever took them probably didn't take them together or as a sexual thing. One has dark hair and the other light."
     "So do you think the unsub knows them?"
     "That's exactly what I think. Unless his type is just teenage girls."

     The rest of the team are still in New Jersey. It's Thursday morning. We think the abductor is a student at the high school. Now, we just have to find them before it's too late.
     We're on the phone with Morgan and the others as Penelope works her magic on the keyboards.
     "Okay we're headed there right now," Derek says after a while.
     "Be careful," me and Garcia both say before he hangs up.
     We sit in wait. And wait. And more waiting.
     Why haven't they called us with anymore news yet?
     I fall asleep on Penelope's desk, and don't even wake up when she's on the phone with the team. I finally stir and Garcia says my mine.
     "What happened?" I say rubbing my eyes.
     "They're on the way back. It's not good."

     I go to my office and fill out paperwork while I'm the phone with JJ, she's speaking quietly which means they're probably asleep on the plane.
     I'm close to being finished by the time they get back to the BAU. Spencer isn't with them.
     I stay here and they tell me what happened. It was a high school student who abducted them. He killed the guy he took. The girls were okay, not mentally though of course.
     The unsub killed himself in front of Spencer. He was trying to talk him down and he slit his own throat. I can't imagine what that would've been like, to see that. He was 17.
     I would call him, but I doubt he'd answer his work cell right now. And what would I say?
     I grab my things and make my way to the car. I get a call on my work phone when I shut my car door.
     "Agent Y/l/n." I answer.
     "Y/n," a sad voice says.
     "Spencer?" This must be his personal.
     "C-Can you come pick me up?"
     "Yeah, yeah sure. Where are you?"
     He's at a bar. Why the hell would Reid be at a bar, and alone?
     I pull up and he gets in the car clumsily. "Are you drunk?" I ask.
     "No. It would probably be good if I was though."
     "Spencer..."
     "Please, don't. Just take me home."
     "Okay," I whisper.
     I help him in his place even though he says he's alright. Even if he's not drunk, he isn't stable either.
     "Spencer, I'm so sorry."
     "I don't want to talk about it."
     "Reid, you can't just ignore it."
     He turns to look me in the eyes. "He killed himself, right in front of me. I thought I could get him to calm down and..." he takes a shattering breath. "There was so much blood."
     I grab his face with both of my hands, holding him to keep looking at me.
     "It is not your fault." My throat chokes up at the sight of him crying. His tears fall on my hands, and I let them.
     "I couldn't stop him..."
     "I know, Spencer. I know," I stroke his hair down to his cheeks.
     "Can you stay with me?"
     "Of course."
     Even if he hadn't stayed with me for a few days, I'd still say yes to him in a heart beat. Even if I didn't feel whatever it is I feel for him, I couldn't say no. His eyes, they're so sad. I've never seen him like this before. I've seen him upset, but not this way.
     "Here," I say handing him sweatpants and a shirt from his drawers after he gets out of the shower.
     He slips back into the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, and comes back a few seconds later in the clothes I handed him.
     I'm sitting on the edge of his bed. He crawls in and pats the other side of his bed, indicating me to come over there. I do after turning the main light off and the lamp on.
     "Spence-" He kisses me, harder than the other day. "Spencer..." I can taste the desperation on him, and it takes a lot of me to pull away.
     "Please, Y/n. I need this."
     "And I need to make sure you'd still would need it in two weeks. Make sure you wouldn't regret it. You're not okay right now."
     He opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't. He lays down and puts his head in my lap. I lean over to kiss his forehead. Stroking his soft curly hair, trying to relax him, I know I did the right thing. Spencer doesn't need it right now. He wanted a distraction. He needs to rest.
     I lean back against a pillow and the headboard of his bed. I'm still in the same clothes except the high heels and the blazer, but I don't mind.
     I continue to stroke his hair, even when he's asleep. He makes soft noises in his slumber, but I don't wake him. I don't move.

heyy! idk how I feel about this chapter. could you comment your thoughts? 1911 words (not me only getting 3 views lmao)